How to Date a Mormon

Don't worry if you're unsure about how to date someone who grows up in the Mormon faith. Having questions about someone's religion and beliefs is completely normal. However, it is important that you take the time to learn about the associated rules and guidelines when it comes to dating. By learning these guidelines and keeping an open mind, you'll be closer to having a meaningful relationship with the person you're dating.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Finding a Mormon to Date

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You might find someone who is Mormon at an LDS college such as BYU in Provo, Utah, or BYU Idaho. If you don’t go to one of these colleges, you can try to take a few classes or go to campus events to meet someone to potentially date.^{[1]XResearch source}
You can find an LDS church near you and attend a worship service. You might run into someone you like or see flyers with information on dances or other events you could attend to meet someone.^{[2]XResearch source}
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Visit online dating sites. Visit an online dating site specifically geared toward Mormons (such as LDS Singles and LDS Planet). Make sure to use a recent photo of you in modest clothing. If you are not Mormon make sure to clearly state that in your profile.^{[3]XResearch source}
Some areas (especially in the Western United States) have very large singles conferences. Sometimes people even come from miles away to attend them. These big events are a good way to meet people who are Mormon.^{[4]XResearch source}
You can visit your local chapter of the BYU Management Society to try to meet someone. You can look up information online to find the nearest chapter to you. There will be many married people at these events who could introduce you to someone they know or you might meet single people at the events too.^{[5]XResearch source}

Part 2

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Learning LDS Guidelines

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Members of The Church of Latter-day Saints are discouraged from dating until they are 16. If the person you are interested in is under 16, they are not likely going to date you. Keep in mind that once a person turns 16, it does not mean they are necessarily going to want to date. When they do begin to date, it is encouraged that it is casual only and not serious, such as dating as friends or in groups.^{[6]XResearch source}
Mormons are encouraged to eat healthy and take care of their bodies. They're discouraged from drinking alcoholic beverages, coffee, tea, smoking of any kind, and use illegal and illicit drugs. If these are things you enjoy doing, don't consider dating a Mormon.^{[7]XResearch source}
3
Understand the “law of chastity.” Mormons do not believe in sex before marriage. They only believe sexual relations are okay after you are married and only with your husband or wife. The law of chastity also includes not passionately kissing, not lying on top of another person, and not touching private parts of another person’s body. Arousing sexual emotions in any way before marriage is not allowed.
- The law of chastity also includes dressing and speaking about chastity appropriately.
- Viewing pornography or watching movies with nudity is not allowed.
While these are the guidelines of The Church of Latter-day Saints, everyone is different. Don’t just assume something about someone because of their religion. Let them open up to you about what their personal beliefs and choices are.

Part 3

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Respecting Someone Who is of the Mormon Faith

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1
Be open-minded. If you are not Mormon, you might not understand certain reasons the person you like does certain things. It is okay to not understand everything about their religion, but be open-minded to their ideas and beliefs. Ask them questions about their religion and keep an unbiased, open mind.
- You could ask something like, “What are your personal beliefs on your religion?” or “What are your opinions on chastity?”
2
Respect their beliefs. If you don’t agree with what the person you like believes, that is okay. However, it is still important to respect their beliefs, even if you don’t agree. Don’t pressure them into doing something against their beliefs and don’t judge them for what they believe. Accept them for who they are.
- If your partner does not want to get intimate, respect that and don’t pressure them.
- If your partner does things that you don’t understand, such as pray, don’t judge them or try to stop them.
3
Dress modestly. You don’t have to change who you are to get someone to like you, but consider keeping your clothing modest when you are with the person you are interested in. Dressing appropriately is part of the “law of chastity.” Wearing modest clothing is a way to show them that you respect their beliefs.^{[8]XResearch source}
- It is especially important to dress appropriately if you meet their parents.
Many Mormons go on missions when they are around 18 or 19 and are gone for 18 months for women and two years for men. They go somewhere and serve wherever the Church calls them to go.^{[9]XResearch source} If the person you are interested in plans on going on a mission, they might be putting off serious dating until they get back. Learn if the person you are interested in is planning on going on a mission and keep that in mind if you are interested in them.^{[10]XResearch source}
If you want to pursue the person you are interested in who is Mormon, and they seem interested in you back, take them on a date! Avoid bars and loud dance halls. Instead, take the person you like to the movies, dinner, on a hike, to the beach, sports events, and anything else the two of you like.^{[11]XResearch source}

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If I'm a Mormon and someone touched my private parts, does that mean I lost my virginity?
Community Answer
That's not how you lose virginity. But if the person did it without your permission, that's sexual assault, and you should get the police involved.
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What do you do if you like a Mormon but they are not 16?
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You can ask them if they want to date, but if they say no, repsect their wishes and their beliefs. You can always be friends with them.
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I am going on a mission. Should I date before I go or should I wait until I am back?
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This is really up to you. Keep in mind that two years is a long time, so you should probably not date anyone seriously until you return.
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Be aware that some Mormons will only get married in Mormon temples.
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Treat someone who is Mormon how you would treat anyone else you like.
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Keep in mind that everyone is different and not everyone might follow the exact guidelines of the Church.
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