How to Date After Fifty

From where you meet someone to what you talk about on your date, the world of dating changes later in life. If you haven’t dated for some time, but are ready to get back out there, you may feel out of touch with the dating process. You may wonder where to find a date, how to approach someone, or even how to be more approachable yourself. With the right approach and mindset, however, you can date after 50.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Yourself Approachable

1
Put your best foot forward. Sometimes with children, careers, and more, life gets in the way. You may stop paying as much attention to your appearance as when you were younger. Making sure that you look as nice as you can is an important part of being approachable at any age.^{[1]XResearch source} You don't have to look like a movie star, but now that you are dating again, you should be mindful of your appearance.
- Dress appropriately. While you don’t want to dress like a teenager, you also don’t want to wear clothes that are dated or unfashionable. Wear clothes that flatter your body and that make you feel good about yourself.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Have good hygiene. You don’t necessarily need to have all of your original teeth or a full head of hair to look great, but you do have to take care of your hygiene. Freshen your breath, get a haircut, keep your nails neat, etc.
- Try to spice it up a little. You don’t need to buy a new wardrobe; just try adding a little something extra to your everyday look.^{[3]XResearch source} Brush your hair a different way, splash on at little fragrance, or add a hat to your outfit.
2
Be confident. Regardless of age, both men and women like confidence when meeting someone new. Feeling good about yourself will also make you more comfortable and more approachable. So remind yourself that no matter what age you are, you have many great characteristics that would make someone want to date you.
- Give yourself a little mental pep talk and remind yourself of all your great qualities. For example, tell yourself, “I’m mature, witty, intelligent, and I can still hit a homerun.”
- Take a deep breath, hold your head up, put your shoulders back, and smile. Physically appearing confident can make you feel more confident.
- It’s okay to take the time you need to build up your confidence, then start finding people to date when you feel more comfortable.
3
Have a good attitude. Think positively; not only about your dating future, but about life in general. If you don’t have a good attitude about dating, then you may feel rejected and give up too soon. If you don’t think positively about life, your negative attitude might scare potential dates away.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Keep in mind that, although dating after 50 is different from when you were younger, you still have to take rejections with a grain a salt and believe that your next date is coming.
- Think about all the good things in your life and enjoy the small things that make you smile (like a great cup of coffee or your garden in bloom).
- Remember the positive things about dating, even if you don't make a love connection, like meeting new people, experiencing new things, and the funny dating stories you can tell your friends.
4
Act friendly. You won’t have success in getting a date if you seem surly, grouchy or just generally don’t seem nice.^{[5]XResearch source} It will be much easier for potential dates to approach you if you seem friendly. People will also be more receptive to you asking them out if you seem like a friendly, amiable person.
- You don’t have to go out of your way to greet every single person that crosses your path.
- Try keeping a pleasant look on your face with a slight smile.
- Smile and speak to people when they greet you. You can even initiate a spontaneous, “How are you?”
- If you’ve been on your own in a while, your social skills might seem a bit rusty. Practice in the mirror first, even if it feels a bit strange, and this can help you feel better about acting friendly.
- If you don’t feel like acting friendly, you could have a larger issue other than developing social skills. If you’re finding that you’re truly having difficulty with the concept of dating, but you really want to try, finding a therapist to work out your feelings can be really helpful. Your therapist can also help you develop a plan, and also develop skills for situations like trust, commitment, and developing healthy relationships.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Finding A Date

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Get out and do something. Even though you are over 50, most people still want to date someone who is active and likes to enjoy life — not just sit on the couch and watch the world go by. Not only will socializing and being active help you meet people to date, it will also make you more attractive to people interested in dating you.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Participating in activities and events will give you something to talk about on your dates.
- Check your local newspaper, libraries, and community centers for events you are interested in.
- Take a daily walk around your block or join the neighborhood association.
2
Be open. Don’t limit yourself to a specific type of person, height range, body type, age range, income level, etc. when considering who you might date.^{[7]XResearch source} Also be open to where you meet people. You could miss out on a great date or relationship because you are stuck on finding the "perfect" person or limit yourself to certain places when trying to meet people.
- Look around when you are at the bank, grocery store, or even tire shop. You never know where you might find your next date.
- Don’t pass someone up because she isn't "your type" at first glance. Be open to getting to know them a little before you decide you don’t want to date them.
- For example, don’t overlook the cashier at your local drugstore. She could be single, charming, caring, and adventurous.
3
Try online dating. Although it might seem a little awkward at first, many people over 50 have been successful with online dating.^{[8]XResearch source} In fact, there are a number of social networking and dating sites geared specifically toward more mature adults. Additionally, online dating gives you opportunity to learn a little about the person beforehand.
- For example, you might want to try eHarmony, AARP Dating, OurTime, or Match.com.
- Be truthful on your profile. You will meet in person (one day) and don’t want to give your date an unpleasant surprise.^{[9]XResearch source}
- Use caution when sharing personal information online and use safety measures when meeting an online date in-person for the first time.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Having a Successful Date

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Plan an interesting date. Dating is more than just eating a meal or watching a movie together; you should be getting to know one another as you enjoy your surroundings. You don’t necessarily have to spend a lot of money, but you can still be creative and plan a fun outing that will be enjoyable for both of you.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Ask your date what types of things he likes to do to get ideas of what might be fun and what might not.
- For example, you could tour an art museum and then go for a painting class or a glass of wine.
- You might want to have frozen yogurt and then photograph nature as you take a short walk together.
- Keep in mind any physical constraints your date might have (for example, trouble walking long distances) when planning your date.
2
Listen more than you talk. While you should definitely tell your date about yourself and hold up your end of the conversation, you also need to listen to what your date is saying.^{[11]XResearch source} People like talking about themselves and it will give you the opportunity to get to know more about your date.
- Ask open-ended questions to prompt your date to tell you more about herself.
- For example, you might say, “That’s really interesting. How did you become involved with that?”
- Listen to what she is saying rather than thinking about what you will say in response to impress her. If you are too focused on yourself, you aren't really paying attention to what she is saying. If you are worried about what to say next, being a good listener will actually make that easy — follow-up questions should come naturally, or you can simply say, "Wow, can you tell me more about that?"
3
Flirt a little. Flirting is fun at any age, and everyone likes to feel that someone is flirting with them. So don’t feel that just because you are 50 or over you can’t flirt a little.^{[12]XResearch source} You don’t have to go overboard, but giving your date extra attention won’t hurt.
- Gaze at your date for just a beat too long. Touch his arm. Smile.
- Lean towards him when he is talking to you. Pay him a compliment.
- There isn't anything wrong with a gentleman opening a door for his date, or seating her at the table.
4
Be honest about what you want. Just like when you were younger, dating can be confusing when you aren’t sure what the other person wants out of the situation or haven’t talked about what you want. Is it just pleasant company for an occasional evening, or are you looking for that special someone to share your golden years with? Whatever it is, let your date know that upfront so that there is no confusion or misunderstandings.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Be ready to initiate the conversation. Even though you are both adults, it may be difficult for your date to bring the topic up, so you should be ready to.
- Don’t feel that you have to have sex or even kiss, if you don’t want to. Talk honestly about your expectations for sex before the date moves in that direction.
- You might try saying, “I almost feel like a teenager bringing this up, but let’s be clear about where this is going…”
5
Skip the deep stuff. A date isn’t so much fun if the whole time you are both reliving and rehashing your pasts.^{[14]XResearch source} Eventually you will want to talk about past relationships, life experiences, and more. In the beginning, however, touch on topics such as ex-spouses, finances, your ailments and children only lightly.
- Talking a lot about your ex or deceased spouse can give your date the impression that you haven’t moved on from that relationship.
- Mention that you have children (or grandchildren), but don’t spend the majority of the date talking about them. Your date wants to get to know you right now, not your family.
- Don’t spend the date talking about all your aches, ailments, medicines, and doctor appointments. This is a date not a therapy session!
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Tips

Don't assume too much, and don't be too let down if your date isn't a success. It just means that it wasn’t the right fit, even if the date goes very well. For example, if the date seemed to go great, but the person doesn’t call you afterwards, then you might want to rethink how you feel about that person. The person can be either phony or maybe has commitment issues.
Thanks
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