How to Cope with Existential Fears

Sometimes, trying to find meaning in the fact that you’re alive can cause fear, anxiety, or distress. This is called existential fear, and that sense of dread can develop into an existential crisis.^{[1]XResearch source} You may feel overwhelmed with feeling the weight of your personal responsibility or the forces at work around you that you have no control over, but it’s always possible to find meaning of your own. Despite existential fears feeling large, you can learn to cope with these feelings and find meaning in your life.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Approaching Fear in a Healthy Way

You may try to derive meaning from your life if you feel existential fear. One way to do this is through asking questions. Some common things to ponder include, “Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?” While these questions can make you feel anxious or fearful, they also can open the door to creating meaning in your life.^{[2]XResearch source}
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View fear as information. Instead of immediately reacting to fear, take a step back and acknowledge your own inner process. Consider changing your relationship to fear: ask, “where does this fear come from and how did it originate?”^{[3]XResearch source} Approach your fear in curiosity.
- For instance, if you’re experiencing the fear of death, be curious about this fear. Don’t get distracted by the negative feelings or gloomy thoughts. Instead, notice the fear and get curious about it. What can you learn about yourself by exploring this fear?
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Consider how an existential fear might relate to your life. Sometimes existential fears can connect with other types of fears or things that are happening in your life.^{[4]XResearch source} By examining your fears, you may be able to live a more purposeful life and decide if making a significant life change is something that you need to do to work towards that goal.
- For example, fears about dying or no longer existing might be connected to a sense that you lack control in your own life. You might feel like you lack control due to an unhealthy relationship or a boring job.
- By identifying what is making you feel like you lack control, you can make changes to help you feel like you are in control again, such as seeking marriage counseling or looking for a different job.
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Take responsibility. Fear can make you feel helpless or “stuck.” When faced with absolute freedom, you may feel overwhelmed. Yet, if you experience limited freedom, you may feel trapped and despairing. Recognize that you have the freedom to make choices and that you are, in fact, free. When recognizing your freedom, it’s important to accept that freedom comes with inherent responsibility, meaning that when you make a choice, you are responsible for handling the outcome of that choice.^{[5]XResearch source}
- You may feel “stuck” in a job, a city, a marriage, or particular life situation. Remind yourself that you can experience freedom at all stages of life. Yet, as you experience freedom, also recognize the outcomes of your choices and respond to them responsibly.
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Stay hopeful. You may feel defeated or come to the conclusion that nothing really matters. There are many ways to approach existential fears. You can feel overwhelmed by the fears, or you can choose to see them from a different angle. For example, when confronting existential fear, recognize that if you have the capacity to experience fear and anxiety, you also have the capacity to experience the opposite of fear and anxiety, such as calm and safety. Stay hopeful as you work through your fears.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Acknowledge your strengths and recognize that even if you feel hopeless in a situation, you do have strengths and positive traits to contribute. Write a list of your strengths and recognize what you bring to your situation.
- For more information, check out How to Have Hope.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Creating Meaning in Your Life

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Cultivate deep relationships. It’s not enough to have friends and family in your life for it to be meaningful. While having friends and family may contribute to happiness, it’s the deep relationships that allow you experience growth, a sense of depth, and connection.^{[7]XResearch source}
- Be open and willing to be vulnerable with the people you love. Make time for the special people in your life and resolve to create meaning in your relationships. Share your thoughts, emotions, fears, struggles, accomplishments and goals.
- Isolation can make your life feel empty, yet community can enrich many people’s lives and add to a greater good.
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Experience the present. You may feel like if you had made different decisions earlier in life, you’d be so much happier now or more fulfilled. On the contrary, you may feel like you live in the future, constantly weighing your options and asking “what if?” Part of dealing with existential fear is learning to live in this very present moment, right now. Let go of the past and don’t attach to the future. Instead, focus on what happens now.^{[8]XResearch source}
- If you notice yourself saying, “I should have done this” or “I regret not doing that,” bring yourself into the present moment and instead ask yourself, “What can I do right now?”
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Derive meaning from the past, present, and future. While living in the present can help center you and keep you from regrets, a meaningful life pulls aspects of the past, present, and future together.^{[9]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} Think about what aspects of your past have contributed to your current strength, courage, and emotional well-being. Then, think about how you can use these characteristics you’ve cultivated to influence the future.
- Find ways to integrate your past, present, and future in a meaningful way. For instance, if you’re an athlete, you may make a goal to compete in a specific event. All of your training, injuries, mistakes, and frustration led you to be skilled enough right now to enter the competition. In preparing for the future, examine the ways you’ve overcome and how you will continue to overcome.
4
Engage in challenging processes. Difficult situations and emotions are unavoidable and in some ways unite humans altogether. No human lives life without experiencing hardships, pain, or suffering. When faced with difficult events or situations, don’t run away or avoid them. Instead, determine to engage the challenge and confront the emotions. Find ways to derive meaning throughout the process.^{[10]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source}
- Meaning can come from recognizing the benefits of the lessons you’ve gained. Think, “How has this impacted my life and what lessons have I learned from this experience?”
- Humans tend to be drawn to stories of overcoming obstacles and becoming stronger as a result of facing fears. This theme is present throughout history, such as told by The Wizard of Oz, Joan of Arc, Mulan, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, and Malala Yousafzai.
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Value yourself. Valuing yourself means expressing yourself fully and engaging in a sense of purpose.^{[11]XResearch source} Recognize that what you contribute to the world is valuable. Find something that makes you feel fulfilled and go do it.
- You may feel at your best when you’re volunteering with children or when you’re rock climbing. Recognize that your passions are important to your self-identity, bring you joy, and help you contribute to your own personal understanding.
- Valuing yourself means fully expressing yourself in a way that feels joyful to you. Explore your creativity through music, dance, painting, drawing, speaking, writing, or whatever helps you express yourself.^{[12]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source}
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Moving Forward Through Existential Fears

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Engage in existential therapy. Existential therapy is based around principles of personal responsibility and freedom.^{[13]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source} This means not blaming others for negative events or feelings, but recognizing that you have power over certain aspects of your life and that you can utilize that power. This type of therapy focuses primarily on the ability to be self-aware and make choices. Empowering yourself is a theme of therapy and a therapist can help to move you out of a space of anxiety and into a space of embracing your choices and their outcomes meaningfully.
- A therapist may ask you to engage your ability to create, love, be authentic, and accept free-will as modes of transformation and coping in a meaningful way.
- Find an existential therapist in your community. Look for someone who specializes in existential therapy.
2
Look into medication. One study showed that taking pain medication may ease symptoms of existential dread. Building upon the notion that pain extends beyond physical discomfort, researchers examined the effects of acetaminophen. It appears that this pain medication may mediate some symptoms of existential dread and feelings of uncertainty.
- Acetaminophen is available over-the-counter as a pain medication, but make sure that you talk to your doctor before taking acetaminophen for existential dread. Taking acetaminophen for existential dread is an off-label use and acetaminophen can cause allergies and other reactions in some people.
3
Consider having children. Some people feel less anxious about death if they have children or plan to have children. One benefit of having children is that it can give you a way to pass on your knowledge and feel that you will live on in some ways after you have died.^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}
- For example, a parent’s love of animals may be passed down to a child, or a figure skater may enjoy watching his or her child start to ice skate.
- However, you should think seriously about having children. Do not consider having children simply as a way to reduce existential fears.
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Recognize when to question and when to let go. Don’t get stuck in always asking questions. Find the balance between being curious and knowing when to definitely say, “I don’t know, and that’s okay.”^{[15]XResearch source} Recognize when to practice letting go.
- Stay curious and continue to ask questions. Yet, if the questions start to feel overwhelming, take a step back and recognize no one person has all the answers. It’s okay to keep questioning and never find a definitive answer.
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