How to Cope if You Wet Yourself in Public

Wetting yourself in public is far more common than people realize, whether it be situational or a medical. That being said, it can still lead to stress and embarrassment. But there is no need to be stressed! Accidents happen. Efficiently dealing with the situation may seem difficult, but it's definitely possible.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Concealing the Accident

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1
Use what you have. Find materials on and around you that will make the wet spot less visible.^{[1]XExpert SourceKirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified PsychiatristExpert Interview. 18 August 2021.} Don't be afraid to get a little creative.
- Use a sweater to wrap around your waist, or place a purse/bag/hat in the right area.
- Use your body. Change up your posture or fold/place your hands over the most visible areas.
- If there are other liquids around (juice, soda, etc.) spill them on top of the wet spot. This will cover up any smell or stain, if any, and provide a credible excuse. Only use this method if you are aware it will wash out of your clothing, or if you do not care about staining your clothing.
- Wet the entirety of your bottoms, weather permitting, to even out the color. This may be a tad uncomfortable, but it will be less obvious that you have wet yourself.
2
Make a credible excuse. The truth is never a bad option, especially if it’s obvious what has happened. Otherwise keep your excuse simple and believable.
- Don’t ramble. The more explanation you provide, the more questionable it will seem.
- Use excuses like, you sat in something or spilled, and find a bathroom if you haven’t already.
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3
Create a distraction. Draw attention to something that is away from you and make your escape.
- Ask the people around you what you think is happening across the room, or make an outlandish statement that will require them to look away before they answer.
  - What kind of food are they serving?
  - Why are Anna and Ben hugging? I thought they got a divorce.
  - Look, Jennifer Lopez's new music video is on!
  - That guy really doesn't know how to play basketball.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Cleaning Up

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1
Locate a bathroom. Casually look around and go to closest bathroom. Here, you will be able to efficiently analyze and deal with the situation.
- Make sure not to draw attention to yourself. Walk casually to this location, for others might not even be aware of your troubles.
2
Find someone you trust. Your ally can help you get to a bathroom unnoticed. They can provide you with clothes and or other solutions you may not have access to.^{[2]XExpert SourceKirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified PsychiatristExpert Interview. 18 August 2021.}
- You may even find, after looking around the room, that you are surrounded by friends therefore panic is unwarranted.
- If you can't find someone else to rely on, remember that you are your best ally. Trust in your capabilities that you can get through the situation independently and successfully.
3
Analyze the wet spot. Figure out how noticeable your wet spot is, and what you will need to mend it. You may find it is not visible and no action is necessary. But you may also find the situation to be dire.
- Take your time. If you look too fast you may over or underestimate how visible it is.
4
Freshen up. Once in the bathroom, scrub out the accident as best you can. Most bathrooms include soap, water, and paper towels or hand dryer. These are the perfect tools to remove stain or smell from your clothes.
- Remove the item of clothing that is blemished and scrub, by rubbing the material together, with soap and cold water in the sink. Then soak up the moisture with paper towels or a hand drier until the material is dry.
- Scrub gently or aggressively depending on what kind of material is blemished.
- If you feel uncomfortable removing any clothing, scrub out the urine as best you can and dry afterward with your clothing still on. A simple excuse of “I spilled something on myself” would also serve as an understandable explanation.
Clean the skin that made contact with the urine using soap and water. This avoids future smell and the spread of bacteria.
6
Clean the mess. If your accident pooled on the ground/chair you should soak it up. It could give you away or someone could slip, so give it a quick clean.
- Grab a good handful of paper towels from the bathroom. Lightly wet some of them with a little soap and water, but keep the rest dry. (If there are no paper towels, use toilet paper.) Soak up the mess, wipe it down with the wet towels, and dry with the rest of the towels.
  - To do this subtly you could use a foot to wipe down the mess. If someone notices, use a credible excuse.
- Dump the dirty towels back in the bathroom trash and thoroughly wash your hand with soap and water.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Dealing With Embarrassment

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1
Don’t panic. No matter how minuscule or grand the situation is, you may find yourself going into a stressful panic mode. This will only hurt you and may even draw attention to your accident which could have gone unnoticed.
- To prevent panic from escalating breathe deeply with your diaphragm. Distract yourself with little games like counting how many outlets are in the room, or which objects are the color blue. ^{[3]XResearch source}
- Stress may have induced the accident in the first place. Stress Urinary Incontinence is a real thing, so take it easy.
- Remember, if you're in public, you'll probably never see most of those people again!^{[4]XExpert SourceKirsten Thompson, MD
  Board Certified PsychiatristExpert Interview. 18 August 2021.}
2
Have a sense of humor. Laugh it off. You might find yourself in a situation where everyone in the room has watched you wet yourself, but if you don't let it bother you it won't bother others.
- Emotions are contagious. If you express shame, sadness, or stress, those around you will react accordingly. By having a sense of humor you'll most likely get a positive reaction. ^{[5]XResearch source}
- Some studies have shown that smiling can make you happy. So even if you don’t feel happy, the act of smiling can provide a little relief. ^{[6]XResearch source}
Friends, family, and coworkers all have one.You make mistakes, you are human. This accident does not define you.
4
Do not linger on the past. If you stay in the present, you’ll recognize there is nothing to be embarrassed about. You do not live in that one moment.
- Stop apologizing. This keeps your mind in the past, and it was simply an accident. You are in the present, and presently there is nothing to apologize for.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Preventing Future Accidents

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1
Pay attention to your body. If you need to go, go!
- Even if you're in the middle of a conversation, leave. Others will understand and a difficult situation will be avoided.
2
Know your environment. If you are in a situation where bathrooms will be hard to access, regulate your liquid intake.
- Events like operas and plays may not let you leave the theatre.
- Airplanes, concerts, and sports games are notorious situations for difficult access to bathrooms.
3
Regulate your liquor intake. Avoid drinking a lot of alcohol in a short period of time. Alcohol is a diuretic. That in combination with impaired judgment and a relaxed body can lead to a messy accident. ^{[7]XResearch source}
- Before you start drinking, note where the closest bathroom is.
- Ask your friends to tell you when they are going to the bathroom and go with them. You may forget or not realize how badly you need to go.
- Use a Blood Alcohol Calculator to determine exactly how drunk you are getting. You may not feel the effects of the liquor right away and continue to drink.
4
Wear absorbent products. Invest in adult diapers or sanitary napkins. It may feel uncomfortable or embarrassing, but it will catch leaking urine.
- Adults wear diapers and sanitary napkins for a variety of different reasons that can cause bladder control issues^{[8]XTrustworthy SourceCleveland ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitalsGo to source}:
  - Urinary infections
  - Prostate gland enlargement
  - Specific diseases (Parkinson’s, arthritis, dementia, etc.)
  - Pregnancy
  - Post-Menopause
If this is a regular occurrence, you may have a medical condition such as Overactive Bladder. Your health provider may give you the help you need, and you won't have to continuously cope with wetting yourself.

Expert Q&A

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Question
Why does peeing yourself feel so embarrassing?
Kirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Dr. Kirsten Thompson is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Clinical Instructor at UCLA, and the Founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in helping patients with mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson holds a BS in Operations Research Industrial Engineering from Cornell University and an MD from The State University of New York, Downstate College of Medicine.
Kirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Expert Answer
Most of the stress and embarrassment in publicly wetting yourself actually comes from the thought that other people may see it, not necessarily from the accident itself.
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If you are wearing dark colored pants, leggings, etc. the wetness may not be noticeable.
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If you're going to be sitting down for a while, take comfort in the fact that it will dry up after 30 minutes to an hour, depending on the size of the spot.
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If these accidents are common, you may be suffering from either bladder, autonomic, or spinal cord problems. See your doctor for further information.
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