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This article was co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
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Snapchat is a fun form of social media that allows you to send your friends photos that disappear after a few seconds. Although the app can be fun, sometimes parents feel like it is dangerous or that you are too young to use it. You can try to convince your parents to let you have Snapchat by asking them if you can download the app politely and coming up with compromises so that they feel more comfortable about you having it.
Steps
Show them that you are responsible. Your parents are not going to let you have Snapchat if you are not responsible. Show your parents that you are well-behaved, and they will trust you more to use Snapchat. Do your chores, do your homework, and help out around the house. This will show your parents that you are responsible and can handle having Snapchat.[1]- If you already have another form of social media, such as Instagram or Facebook, don't post anything inappropriate or your parents might not think you are responsible enough for Snapchat.
Find a good time to ask them. Make sure to bring up the subject of Snapchat at a good time. Don't ask when your parents are busy or half asleep. Find a good time to ask them when they are not distracted or stressed out.- Good times to ask your parents might be during dinner time or in the car.
- Start by saying, “Mom and Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?”[2]
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Ask them calmly and politely. When you ask your parents if you can have Snapchat, make sure you are calm and polite. Don't whine, cry, or beg. Your parents will be more likely to say no to someone having a tantrum than someone being polite and understanding when they ask.- Try saying something like, “Is there any way I can please download the app Snapchat?”
Explain why you want it. Have good reasons why you want to have Snapchat. Explain to them how it will help you socialize and be included in friend groups. Talk about how you will use it to get closer to friends and make new connections at school. You can explain to them how it is a great way to stay in touch with people more than regular messaging because you can see what people are doing.- Say something like, “Many people at school have the app and I feel left out of conversations and groups because I don't have it. If I have the app I can connect with more people and become closer to other kids at school.”
Explain how you will use it responsibly. Your parents might be concerned about Snapchat because of how quickly the pictures disappear. This means that many people use Snapchat to send each other inappropriate photos. Talk to your parents about how you will not send anything inappropriate and that you understand the risk in people taking screenshots of your photos, even though the photos technically "disappear."[3]- For example, you could say “I promise I will be responsible with Snapchat. I won't post or send anything inappropriate. I understand that although the photos disappear, people can still take screenshots of what I send. But I'm only going to use Snapchat with my closest friends.”
Ask them why they are uncomfortable about you having it. If your parents say no to you, calmly ask them their reasons. Understanding why they don't want you to have the app might help you convince them to let you download it.
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Discuss creating time limits. If your parents don't want you to have Snapchat because they are worried about you being on it too much, consider a compromise that includes time limits. Agree to be outside a certain amount of time a day, without your phone. Promise to never use it during class time or after you go to bed.
Suggest that they control your friends list. Letting your parents control your Snapchat friends list might make them feel more comfortable about you having the app. This way they will know you are only talking to people they know and trust. Their rules might be that you can't have kids of the other sex on your Snapchat or maybe they only want friends on your Snapchat that they have met. Agree to have “friends list checks” to make sure you are following the rules.
Agree to change the settings on the app to private. Explain to them that you can edit the settings on the app so only people on your friend's list can send you photos and messages. This way you won't be getting random messages and photos from strangers.- Explain to them that they can block people on Snapchat that they are uncomfortable with.[4]
Agree to not look at the media Snapchat stories. The reason your parents might not want you to have Snapchat is because of the stories from media outlets such as MTV and Buzzfeed. Your parents might be worried about inappropriate content showing up on these stories. Promise to not watch these stories if you get Snapchat.
Convince them that you won't feel insecure as a result of the filters. Sometimes, filters can cause you to feel insecure and wish that you could look perfect. Tell your parents that you are capable of using them, with the understanding that they're not real.
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Expert Q&A
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- QuestionWhat's your advice for asking permission if your parents are always saying no?
Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCCMoshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
Marriage & Family TherapistTry to understand why they said no. If you ask to be allowed to get back at midnight and they say 10 PM, instead of getting angry, try to understand why that is. You’ll get an honest answer. If you can understand where they're coming from, you can address that point, and maybe promise them that you understand them. In due time, they will start to trust you more. - QuestionWhat if they don't understand why you want Snapchat?
Community AnswerIf your parents still are not understanding why you want Snapchat, understand it is because of generational differences. Explain to your parents how Snapchat is how people keep in contact now and without it you feel left out. - QuestionMy mom thinks that there is no privacy on Snapchat. What should I do?
Community AnswerExplain to her that there are privacy setting to make sure random people can't add you or send you messages. Talk to her about your friends list and how she can help control who can and cannot message you lol.
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Tips
- Remember that your parents love you and are just trying to protect you.Thanks
- Stay calm and don't whine or cry.Thanks
- If your parents say no, respect their decision. Don't keep badgering them about it.Thanks
Tips from our Readers 
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of How.com.vn readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on How.com.vn, please submit it in the field below.
- Understand where your parents are coming from if they are hesitant or don't want you to have Snapchat. They don't want you to get cyberbullied or send inappropriate pics you will definitely regret later. There are risks to every social media platform. A tip for when you get it: you can easily get addicted to Snapchat, so remember streaks aren't everything.
- Make sure not to push. The world today is not very safe, so don't go and get it behind their backs because your parents are probably just trying to protect you. If you get it behind their backs you can get yourself in an unsafe situation, so if they say no understand and move on.
- Do NOT try and download it without their permission. They may not want you to have the app due to the fact that it is too public or simply because they feel you are growing up too fast, especially if you are under 13.
- Have a good reason! Not something like, "I want it!" I told my parents that one of my friends moved and she has Snapchat and I don't have her number, so try to use a reason like that.
- Suggest a time limit with the app. After a few months of showing that you're safe and everything is okay, you can ask if you can have more Snapchat time.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about convincing your parents, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC.
References
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/larrymagid/2013/05/01/what-is-snapchat-and-why-do-kids-love-it-and-parents-fear-it/#de2dbc625512
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/larrymagid/2013/05/01/what-is-snapchat-and-why-do-kids-love-it-and-parents-fear-it/#de2dbc625512
About This Article
Marriage & Family Therapist
This article was co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF). This article has been viewed 477,430 times.
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Co-authors: 74
Updated: April 4, 2024
Views: 477,430
Categories: Convincing Parents About Electronics and Internet | Snapchat
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 477,430 times.
Reader Success Stories
"If you have Snapchat taken off you before then, reason with them on how you can change your behavior and let them monitor your Snapchat. I'd recommend not saving any personal messages and try to be responsible."..." more
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