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This article was co-authored by Stefanie Safran. Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 64,566 times.
Do you want to communicate with a girl, but never get the chance because she is so busy? Are you in a long-distance relationship with a far-away girlfriend? Don’t worry – there are many avenues available to communicate with a girl who isn’t around. You could use text messages, instant messages, or email. If you prefer a more intimate communication, give her a call or set up a video chat.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 4:
Communicating Verbally
Use a video chat. Lots of instant messaging services and social media platforms also allow for video chat. Video chatting is typically the next-best thing to communicating with a girl in person. However, video chats require a strong internet connection and, like regular phone calls, they require that both you and the girl you’re interested in communicating with are available at the same time.[1]
Call the girl you want to talk to. Calling is the most direct option for communicating with a girl who is not around. However, if she’s at work or traveling, communicating with a girl by phone might be difficult.[2]- Ask the girl you want to communicate with when the best time to call her is.
Leave a voice message. If you call and she doesn’t pick up, you can still let her know you want to get in touch. Listen to the voicemail prompt and leave your message according to the directions.[3]- Keep your message brief and to the point. There’s often no way to know before calling whether you’ll get to speak to her or whether you’ll get her voicemail, so plan out what you want to say in your message before calling.
- Remember to hang up when you end the message.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:
Writing to a Girl
Use an instant messenger. Instant messaging services like Skype or Kik are useful for communicating with a girl who is not around. While the specific message-sending technique will vary depending on the platform you use, you can generally type a message into the text box at the bottom of the screen, send it, then wait for the girl on the other end to reply.[4]- Instant messengers can also be used to share files or images.
Use social media to communicate. Social media provides a range of opportunities for communication. Not only can you often communicate directly with a girl who is not around through an inbuilt messaging service, but you can also “like” her status updates, photos, and cover images using the appropriate button.- All social media platforms (including Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter) are different. Spend some time exploring communication options on the social media platforms you and the girl you want to communicate with both have accounts on.
- Social media is an appropriate way to get closer to a girl you don't know very well, or to stay connected with a girlfriend.
- Add or follow girls you want to communicate with on social media.
Send a text message. Text messages have several advantages. For instance, they give you time to come up with clever and creative responses. You can also incorporate images or emojis (small cartoon-like characters) into your text message.[5]- The specific method by which you send a text message will vary depending on the phone you have. Typically, you can input a number or select one of your contacts, then select “New text,” “Text,” or some similar option. After that, just type your text message and press “Send.”
- Texting is quick and easy, but if you have a lot to say, it can be difficult to say it all in a single message.
Send an email. Email is a great way to communicate with a girl who is not around. An email lends itself well to longer, more detailed messages, so if you have a lot to share with the girl you’re communicating with, email is probably the best option.[6]- If you don’t have an email address, setting one up is easy. There are lots of free email providers, including Yahoo and Juno. Just enter your information and select an address. You’ll be able to email a girl who is not around in no time.
Write a letter. If you’re interested in communicating with a girl who has a mailing address, you could send her a letter. Letters are an ancient and intimate form of communication, and offer lots of communication options.[7]- Write with a pen, pencil, or (if you're feeling playful) even crayon.
- Write on lined paper if your handwriting tends to be poor or uncontrolled. If you write in a fine hand, use unlined paper.
Include the date, your address, and other important information in your letter. Unlike letters, other means of communicating automatically include information about when the text message, email, or chat log was produced, and who produced it. To provide context for the girl who isn’t around, place the date at the top of your letter and sign your name at the end of the letter. Include a return address where she can reply (assuming she doesn’t already have your address).[8]Advertisement
Method 3
Method 3 of 4:
Communicating with Your Girlfriend
Talk to her about how much you want to communicate when you’re apart. In many relationships, one person needs or gives more attention than the other. Discuss how much the two of you should interact when you’re not together. Be honest about how you feel. If you initially disagree about how much communication is too much, work together to arrive at a compromise you can both live with.[9]- For instance, if she says, “I wish you’d text me more often,” you could agree to increase your communication level or explain that because you are busy at work all day, communicating is difficult.
Use cute and sweet language. If your girlfriend likes flattery and flirtation, slather it on. For instance, you might say, “There is nobody as beautiful as you” or “You are the funniest person I know.” These “sweet nothings” will deepen your bond even when she isn’t around.[10]
Send her pictures. Your girlfriend will appreciate seeing you and what you’re doing. If you see something unusual, surprising, or noteworthy, take a picture and send it to her.[11]- You can send your girlfriend pictures using email, instant messaging services, social media, or text message.
Develop communication rituals with your girlfriend. There are many ways to create communication rituals. For instance, you could call her just before bed each night, or you could text her when you know she’s headed into work with a message wishing her well. These regular interactions can strengthen the bond between you even when you’re not physically together.[12]
Refer to special experiences and memories you’ve shared. If you and your girlfriend have an inside joke or call each other by pet names, use them in your communications. This will make the sometimes awkward experience of communicating remotely feel more personal.[13]Advertisement
Method 4
Method 4 of 4:
Communicating with a Girl You’re Interested In
Don’t wait to reach out. Once you have her number, email address, or other contact information, get in touch as soon as you’re ready to ask her out. The longer you wait, the more likely it is that she will forget about you or start to think you aren’t interested.[14]
Leave just one brief message or text at a time. Don’t smother the girl you’re interested in. Wait for her to reply to texts, voicemails, and emails before sending another. Otherwise, she might see you as desperate and/or feel overwhelmed.
Keep your messages upbeat. Smile when you leave a voice message. Even if she can’t see it, the sound of your happiness will be apparent in your voice. When you text or chat with a girl via an instant messenger, adopt a playful, positive tone. Avoid topics and language that might be offensive or controversial.[15]- Communicating immediately with a girl who isn’t around (especially one you just met) can keep the emotional momentum going.
Don’t communicate after 9:00 at night or before 9:00 in the morning. When sending a text or placing a call to a girl you’re interested in, do it during normal waking hours. Otherwise, you might irritate the girl you want to communicate with.[16]
Ask questions. Asking questions prompts a response. For instance, you might say, “How are you?” or ”What are you up to?” Avoid communicating in ways that do not elicit a response (like sending simple, one-word texts like “Hey”).[17]
Make specific plans. For instance, you might say, “Let’s meet at Giovanni’s Pizza Thursday at 2:00.” Don’t make vague suggestions like “We should get together some time.”[18]
Don’t over-share details about yourself. Leave most of the details about your life, work, and interests for the actual hang-out or date. This will ensure that your date is interesting and you and the girl have plenty to talk about.[19]Advertisement
Expert Q&A
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- QuestionHow can I communicate with a girl successfully?
Stefanie SafranStefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
Dating Coach & MatchmakerBe focused and try to understand what the girl wants. Tailor your conversations accordingly. Do not forget to call or contact her at the time you promise to do so. - QuestionHow can I have an interesting conversation with a girl online?Stefanie SafranStefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
Dating Coach & MatchmakerAsk her questions and show your interest. Let her tell about herself. Do not talk excessively about yourself. - QuestionWhat is the best way to start a conversation with a girl?Stefanie SafranStefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
Dating Coach & MatchmakerYou can offer a compliment to a girl. It can pave the way for a great conversation.
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Tips
- Try to gauge her mood when you are talking to her. If she has achieved something remarkable, offer your congratulations. If she is upset, stressed or ill, try to comfort her and cheer her up.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don't send inappropriate pictures and don't ask her for any.Thanks
- Unless there is no way to arrange a face-to-face conversation, avoid talking about important, emotional topics. Don't break up with her or tell her that a person/pet died over text.Thanks
- Use appropriate language - minimize swearing and don't use derogatory terms.Thanks
- Don't be rude. If she says something that upsets you, talk to her about it in a calm, mature manner.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/jayson-demers/communication-in-2015-text-voice-video-or-in-person.html
- ↑ https://ordinarytraveler.com/tipsarticles/keeping-in-touch-with-your-significant-other-while-traveling
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=pCElDwAAQBAJ&lpg=PA120&pg=PA119#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ https://www.archives.gov/records-mgmt/initiatives/im-faq.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201403/is-constant-texting-good-or-bad-your-relationship
- ↑ https://ordinarytraveler.com/tipsarticles/keeping-in-touch-with-your-significant-other-while-traveling
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2009/04/16/the-art-of-letter-writing/
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2009/04/16/the-art-of-letter-writing/
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=Z3qZAv6ZGpIC&lpg=PT126&pg=PT127#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=Z3qZAv6ZGpIC&lpg=PT126&pg=PT127#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=Z3qZAv6ZGpIC&lpg=PT126&pg=PT127#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=Z3qZAv6ZGpIC&lpg=PT126&pg=PT128#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=Z3qZAv6ZGpIC&lpg=PT126&pg=PT130#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ http://lifehacker.com/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-texting-a-romantic-interest-1753671407
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=pCElDwAAQBAJ&lpg=PA120&pg=PA120#v=onepage&q&f=false
- ↑ http://lifehacker.com/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-texting-a-romantic-interest-1753671407
- ↑ http://lifehacker.com/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-texting-a-romantic-interest-1753671407
- ↑ http://lifehacker.com/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-texting-a-romantic-interest-1753671407
- ↑ http://lifehacker.com/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-texting-a-romantic-interest-1753671407
About this article
Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
This article was co-authored by Stefanie Safran. Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. This article has been viewed 64,566 times.
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Co-authors: 11
Updated: October 8, 2020
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