How to Be Proud to Be Feminine

Maintaining femininity while succeeding in a patriarchal world can be difficult. The Western world values men more highly than it values women, and masculine things are viewed as superior to feminine things.^{[1]XResearch source}^{[2]XResearch source} You may have alienated yourself from femininity for personal success, security, or self-image issues. Here is how to reconcile with and be proud of your feminine self.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Understanding Femininity

1
Evaluate your biases. Why do you think femininity is inferior, or that people will dislike your femininity? What is, in your eyes, wrong with girly girls, homemakers, women who wear makeup, etc.? Be honest in your self-examination. If you find your prejudices against femininity, you can seek to end them.
2
Get in touch with feminism. Feminism poses the idea that all people have equal human dignity, regardless of gender or gender expression. It also covers issues such as personal choice, sex shaming, women in the workforce, and other areas that may be related to your prejudices or fears.
3
Recognize that femininity is a social construct. Pink used to be considered a boy color, and now it is supposed to be for girls.^{[3]XResearch source}^{[4]XResearch source} Heavier women were more valued in history, and still are in some locations.^{[5]XResearch source}^{[6]XResearch source} Femininity is not set in stone.
- Even within cultures, different people have different ideas about what counts as "ideal" femininity.
4
Read about successful women. History tends to focus on successful men, partially because women had greater obstacles in education and work, and partially because successful women weren't given credit for their work.^{[7]XResearch source} Actively seek out information about remarkable women in science, politics, sports, et cetera. Read about all the women and see how they could be successful.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Embracing Femininity

1
Respect all women, their choices, and their identities. Value girly girls and tomboys, butch lesbians and lipstick-loving businesswomen. Familiarize yourself with the notion that women should be able to choose how they present themselves, and none of these ways are bad or wrong.
- Just because you don't like something (pink, makeup, bikinis) doesn't mean that the thing is inferior, or that women shouldn't use it at all.
- Similarly, women should be able to choose to look or act in more masculine ways without being derided.
2
Reintroduce yourself to some aspects of femininity. What girly things did you enjoy as a child, and what looks interesting to you? Try things out and see if you like them. Experiment with feminine things, such as...
- "Chick flicks"
- Playing with hair and makeup
- Shopping
- Child care and nurturing roles
- Baking
- Sewing
- Gardening
3
Find feminine things you enjoy. Once you have tried them, settle upon the things you like. Don't worry if they're derided as "frivolous" or "girly."^{[8]XResearch source} Your interests are for you, and them being feminine doesn't make them less worthwhile.
4
Blur the lines of gender stereotypes whenever you please. You can bake while listening to heavy metal music, love fashion magazines and books about accounting, or kick butt at basketball while wearing a pink hair ribbon.^{[9]XResearch source}
- You should also keep in mind that you don't need to balance out a traditionally feminine hobby by doing something masculine, or vice versa. You don't have to force yourself to listen to respected male musicians just because you like Taylor Swift, for instance. It's fine if you find yourself leaning towards one side of traditional gender expression.
5
Accept and support "feminine" behavior in men and boys. Men usually like to do some traditionally feminine things, but might be afraid to do so. Casually invite them to bake with you, watch a romantic comedy together, or let you teach them to sew. Let the experience be positive and free of judgment.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Avoid criticizing men for being "weak," crying, or doing traditionally feminine things.
6
Embrace female role models. Look for amazing women, both out in the world and close by in your life. See what you can learn from them. They can show you how to be feminine and strong at the same time.
- Don't use a woman's femininity as a gauge for how much of a role model she is. Both masculine and feminine women can be awesome.
7
Support other women. Supporting femininity means helping those who are feminine (a little or a lot). Challenge negative stereotypes against women, and encourage fellow women to help each other.
- Instead of telling yourself "I'm not like other girls," try "I am like other girls—girls rock!"
8
Stand up for yourself. It's unfair and not fun to be talked over,^{[11]XResearch source} ignored, or treated as lesser. Learn to be assertive and speak up when something is wrong.
- "Please stop that. You're being rude."
- "Stop interrupting me."
- "That's not funny."
9
Love yourself. You are a woman, and you are inherently valuable. You have your own unique skills and talents, and you are a worthwhile human being, femininity and all.
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Community Q&A

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Question
What if men say I’m weak?
Community Answer
You can't control what they say. Just be yourself and try to ignore the judgments, which will come no matter what you do. No one appeals to everyone.
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