How to Be Patient When Doing Homework with Your Young Child

For many parents, when it comes to helping small children with homework, patience flies out the window. Your child may have trouble sitting still, concentrating, or grasping new or difficult topics. Note this: if you come off as dreading the homework process, your kid will, too. Learn to be patient with your young child while doing homework by using helpful strategies to prevent frustration, creating a workable system, and helping them learn to work independently.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Dealing with Your Impatience

1
Close your eyes and count to ten. Impatience can sneak up on you when you're trying to help your young child with their homework. In these situations, you can quickly draw on techniques that help you stay calm in the heat-of-the-moment. Before you become irritable with your child, simply shut your eyes and count to ten.^{[1]XResearch source}
- If you need more time, try leaving the room for a "bathroom break," even if you don't need one.
2
Take calming breaths. Deep breathing is a great exercise to call upon in moments of impatience. Plus, you can do this exercise any time and any place. Draw in deep, cleansing breaths from your nose for a few counts. Hold the breath for a second. Then, slowly release the air through your mouth.
- Try deep breathing when you become impatient and notice yourself becoming relaxed and more in control.^{[2]XResearch source} Focus on drawing the air down into your abdomen, not into your chest.
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Reciting a calming phrase aloud or in your head may help you to get a hold on anger and impatience before they get out of hand. Try saying something like, "This too shall pass" over and over again until you feel more capable of calmly dealing with your child.^{[3]XResearch source}
4
Offer calming reassurance during a tantrum. Younger kids are more likely to have temper tantrums when they are asked to tackled tough subjects. Reasons for tantrums vary from being hungry to being tired, but some kids simply will have them when they don't want to do hard work. The trick to easing a tantrum is to not become rattled or get drawn into an argument. ^{[4]XTrustworthy SourceCleveland ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitalsGo to source}
- Stay quiet and relaxed during the tantrum. This will help your child calm down sooner. Place a hand on their shoulder or back to offer reassurance. Ignore any acting out behavior and refuse to say anything until your child has stopped the behavior.
- With an older child, consider leaving the area or room.
5
Schedule in breaks. Small children may have a hard time focusing on their work after a long day of school. Give your child (and yourself) regular breaks to use the restroom, have a snack, or collect themselves after an especially difficult assignment.^{[5]XResearch source}
- It may even be a good idea to let your child do some other after-school activity before starting homework in the evenings.
- Know what works for your individual child. For example, your child may need to engage in physical activity before beginning their homework, or they may need to take short, active breaks.
6
Do work of your own. Model good attention and concentration skills by doing your own work while your child does homework. This helps set a good example that even parents have to do homework. Plus, you’ll be less impatient if you’re using your child’s homework time to do something constructive, too.
- Try paying bills, writing out the week’s grocery list or menu, or reading a book during homework time.^{[6]XResearch source}
- This will also help keep the environment calm because you will both be occupied with a work task.
7
Get help for a struggling child. If you find yourself becoming impatient on a regular basis during your small child’s homework time, you may need to call in reinforcements. Some parents simply have a harder time coaching and guiding small children who don’t really know how to study appropriately.
- If your impatience stems from the work being too difficult or taking up too much time, it may help to talk to your child’s teacher about cutting back on homework or being more realistic about what is assigned.^{[7]XResearch source}
- If you can’t seem to explain concepts so that your child understands or your child is really struggling, it may help to hire a tutor who has experience in this area or have your child evaluated for a learning disorder.
- If your child has older siblings, see if they can help. The concepts will be fresher in their mind.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Developing a System

1
Work together to decide on a plan. You can preserve your own patience going into homework time by making sure you and your child are on the same page. Sit down with your child and talk about what they need to work on this school year. Then, map out a plan that makes sure they can do the homework that is assigned and cover other important skillsets in the specified amount of time.^{[8]XResearch source}
- Think about what has worked in the past, or what may have been helpful for their siblings at that age.
- Include your child in this plan, talking to them about what time they prefer to do homework and which aids are more helpful.
- Make sure that your child knows what to expect each afternoon when it comes to their homework schedule.
You and your child are both less likely to become frustrated when you know what to expect. Set a consistent schedule for homework, on weekdays and weekends. Stick to this plan as closely as you can. That way, your child has structure around their homework time just as they do at school.^{[9]XResearch source}
3
Choose a distraction-free environment. For small children especially, homework time may require a lot of guidance. Situate them in an environment where you can supervise their work. The area must also be quiet enough to help them focus.^{[10]XResearch source}
- A popular place in many homes for homework is the kitchen or dining room table. Make sure the area is well-lit, stocked with the necessary supplies, and free of distractions like the television or toys. Ask other family members to steer clear of the area during homework time whenever possible.
- Avoid snacking during homework time. Save snacks for before or after homework.
4
Suggest “chunking.” You and your kid are less likely to feel impatient about big projects when you break them down into manageable chunks. Plan out each night’s (or week’s) homework assignments and ask your child what they think is the best way to divide up big tasks.^{[11]XResearch source}
- Working on one aspect of a project at a time reduces frustration and builds confidence as they move along.
5
Use helpful study aids. If you’re not a natural teacher, you might struggle with explaining new concepts to a kindergartner or first-grader. You’re less likely to grow impatient with your child when you have practical aids on hand to help them learn new topics.
- Find out what skills your child is learning and research books, toys, and online videos that may assist them. One free online resource for homework help is HippoCampus.org. It features educational video content in over 13 subjects.^{[12]XResearch source}
- Every child has their own learning style, so using a variety of learning methods may assist children who learn better through hands-on or auditory approaches.
- Attend parent orientation night so that you can better understand the teacher's expectations when it comes to homework. You can also ask any questions that you may have.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Encouraging Independence in Your Child

1
Encourage them to try first. Young kids are accustomed to their parents swooping in to help them when they are confused or scared. Try not to let this become a habit during homework time. Your child may need you to read the instructions, but let them take a stab at completing any problems on their own first.
- If they ask for your help, say, “Let me see you try first.” If they ask a question about something, say “What do you think?”
- When reviewing what they have done, don’t check and correct all the work. Make sure they get the hang of it and suggest that they look back over it. But, never correct their work for them. Teachers need a measure of your child’s understanding, not yours.
- You could also review the assignment after the teacher goes through and marks corrections.
2
Make suggestions, but don’t supply answers. Although educators believe parental involvement is key to a thriving student, they notice that children whose parents offer more coaching often have poorer performance. Show them how to help themselves instead of over-functioning and doing the work for them.^{[13]XResearch source}
- For example, show them how to use resources to check over their work or find answers.
Children need to see that you are proud of their accomplishments, so be sure to give a high-five for positive efforts towards a task. You might also display art projects or great test grades.^{[14]XResearch source}
4
Offer less help and more space over time. As your child starts to get the hang of doing homework, slowly reduce the amount of time you spend hovering over them. Let them develop some autonomy with homework.
- Back off a bit and let them come to you if they have questions. Review their work only once they’re done rather than throughout the time they’re working. Also, give them more physical space by moving your work to another area or allowing them to work in their room or another space.
- You’ll still want to remain in the general area or check in periodically. Kids work best when they know you are nearby.^{[15]XResearch source}
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