How to Be Left Alone in School

Being left alone can be desired for a number of reasons, from wanting to avoid social interaction to avoiding bullies. Although being completely left alone throughout your time at school is unlikely, there are many ways to go about avoiding others and seeking the help of friends and staff to help you be left alone.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Dealing with Bullies

1
Walk away. Bullies often try to control others’ emotions. Instead of giving them the power they are attempting to exert over you, simply walk away. Avoid responding to bullies by retaliating in the same way you are being bullied, like resorting to violence or verbal abuse.^{[1]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Simply ignore the bully when walking away or politely tell them that you are not interested in what they have to say.
2
Walk with a friend. Finding a friend to accompany you while walking to and from class, or around the school during lunch and breaks, will help deter bullies from approaching you. Let your friends know if there is a specific individual you feel you need to avoid, or if you generally feel uncomfortable being completely alone.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Have your friend meet you at your class so that you can be accompanied the entire time you are walking.
- Set up routines with your group of friends, like meeting at the same place at the same time everyday.
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3
Try and understand the bully’s point of view. Taking a position of empathy and trying to understand someone else is not always easy, especially if they are bullying you. However, it can be useful to think of the bully’s perspective to see what other factors or elements might be causing them to act the way that they are.
- Ask yourself questions, like “How would I respond if something like that happened to me?” or “How would I feel if I had their experience?”
4
Report the bully to a trusted adult. Find a trusted adult, like a parent, teacher, instructor, or school counselor to report the bully to. Getting others involved will bring you one step closer to ending conflict with whoever is bullying you. Adults can often find ways of dealing with bullies without letting the bullies know who told on them.
- Be sure to immediately report all threats to your well being.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Avoiding Others

1
Avoid making eye contact when you are not in class. Breaks and lunch increase your chances of being approached by bullies or others you don’t want to talk to. Keeping your head down and avoiding eye contact will deter others from approaching or addressing you. If you do happen to make eye contact with another individual, simply look away and continue walking.^{[3]XResearch source}
- Have an excuse ready if you do happen to get stopped. Try using excuses like “Oh no, I forgot I had to meet with (your teacher’s name),” “I forgot something in my locker,” or “I think I lost my keys, I better go look for them in class.”
2
Get on your teacher’s good side. Getting on your teacher’s good side will help you have an authoritative ally in cases where you are being bullied. Teachers may also have a better understanding of social dynamics in class and can help you avoid someone who is harassing or bullying you.
- Ask your teacher if you can stay in during break or lunch and help with preparing a class lesson or organizing the classroom.
- Being on time and doing well in class will help keep you on your teacher’s good side.
3
Speak confidently with those who harass or flirt with you. Withdrawing or avoiding those who are flirting or harassing you can sometimes perpetuate the problem. Speak confidently and authoritatively when approached by others you wish to avoid to clearly express how you feel and what actions are unwanted or inappropriate. Stand in front of the individual, make eye contact, and speak clearly and calmly.
- Use statements like, “We are just friends and I would appreciate it if you stopped flirting with me,” “They way you interact with me makes me uncomfortable,” or “I think that your behavior toward me is inappropriate” to clearly express your intentions.
- Immediately tell a teacher, administrator, or family member if there are any signs of abuse, like unwanted contact, inappropriate touching, or forced intimacy.
4
Look distracted or preoccupied. Looking busy will deter others from approaching you. Try using free time in class, breaks, or lunch to do homework or read a book. Seek out quiet places or places generally uninhabited by people on your school campus, like the library, to study, read, and avoid others.
- Spending time doing homework or reading also helps you do well in school and learn new things!
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Seeking Help From Others

1
Make new friends. Making new friends can provide you with a community of support at school that can help you avoid bullying or harassment. Try approaching others, whether individuals or groups, and ask if you can sit with them during lunch or break. Be friendly and ask them questions to get to know them. The more you spend time with this person or group the more likely you will be to become friends.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Try breaking the ice with a compliment, like “I really like your shoes,” “I love your jacket, where did you get it?” or “I thought the joke you made in class was funny.”^{[5]XResearch source}
- Enroll in extra-curricular groups and clubs to meet new people and make new friends.
2
Talk to your family if you are being targeted by a teacher. Teachers can sometimes target students specifically and can perpetuate harassment and bullying. Tell your parents or siblings if you are being bothered by another student or teacher. They might have useful advice and can get in touch with administrators, instructors, or counselors when appropriate.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Try using statements like, “I feel like my teacher targets me specifically everyday in class when I am not acting out,” “I keep getting bullied by the same student, what should I do?” or “My teacher isn’t helping me deal with a class bully and is perpetuating the problem.”
- Ask your parents or siblings how they have handled similar issues.^{[7]XResearch source}
3
Make an appointment with a school counselor. If you are being bullied or are having difficulty interacting with other students in your school seek out the advice of a school counselor. School counselors can provide you with resources and tools for dealing with and engaging other students, even if they are bullies.
- Be prepared for your administrator to set up conferences to resolve conflicts with specific individuals.
4
Discuss your problems with your instructor. If you are having problems or wish to be left alone in a particular class, discuss your problems with the instructor of that class. Your instructor should be familiar and able to deal with interpersonal issues with students and may have some advice for dealing with bullies or generally wanting to be alone.^{[8]XResearch source}
- Ask your instructor to be seated farther away from those you would like to avoid.
- Ask your instructor if they need help setting up for an activity or assignment over break or lunch.
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How do I avoid bullies if I'm transferring to a new school?
Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Expert Answer
Join an extracurricular activity right away to meet other people with similar interests so you can make friends rather than being alone around bullies.
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