How to Avoid Dating when You Are Not Prepared

If you are up to age, (everyone is beautiful, need not add it), and smart, no matter how long or how much you try to avoid dating, you are going to keep getting requests and admirers especially if you are an out-going type. The only way not to date when you are not ready is not to avoid but to turn down requests till you feel up to it. Whatever the reason, this article aims to give you a step-by-step guide on how to reject a date, not feel pressured or guilty by it and not lose a friendship. Remember, you should never feel pressured into doing anything that you're not ready for!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Addressing Your Own Feelings

Whatever your circumstances, there has to be one main, stand-out reason. Whether that person just isn't right for you or if you're just not ready, be honest with yourself and develop your own reasoning for not wanting to date. That way, you'll be in a good position to explain yourself and won't feel as if you have to give false reasons to accept or avoid dating.
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Be open and honest with yourself. At some point in time, you may meet a person and think that you could possibly develop feelings for them as you're getting to know each other. Be honest with yourself about what you want, and whether or not you're ready to become emotionally intimate with another person. Either way, you can become friends with this person at a later point in time when you may be ready for a relationship.
- You may find that the friendship you've shared so far will add depth and meaning to your relationship. But, if you do not intend or want it to ever blossom into an intimate relationship, that's okay, too. Being honest with that person about your expectations for the relationship and your intentions is the best thing you can do, but remember to use your words appropriately.
- Use the 'Golden Rule' when deciding how to tell someone you're not interested.
Sometimes you'll get that annoying question: "Why are you, or why do you choose to be single?" Be prepared to answer it in a way you feel comfortable with, but don't feel as though you have to answer in detail. Something simple like: "I want some time to discover myself," or "I don't need a relationship to be content," works fine, too. But not having even a simple explanation can make the interested person feel as though they have a fatal flaw. And even if that is the case, there's no reason to tear that person apart.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Coping With Not Dating

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Keep yourself busy so you don't feel pressured to fill that gap of social interaction with a romantic interest. Spend time with friends and family or gain a new hobby/invest more time in a current one. You'll learn that you are capable of doing activities that you enjoy on your own.
- When you are ready to date and get into a relationship, you'll have your own interests to keep you busy in your partner's absence, or you'll have a great passion to share with them. Remember that you are your own person!
The bonus is that these people will likely share more interests with you; the downside is that you may feel compelled to connect romantically. However, there is no universal law saying that you must be in a relationship with someone you share interests with. Instead, take this opportunity to make some great friends and do some serious networking, especially if you see this hobby turning into a career path.
3
Be friendly but firm about your boundaries. Being friendly and being flirty can sometimes be perceived as the same thing, but you should never let someone make you feel guilty or pressured into a relationship because they misread your signals. But also be clear to the interested person about your intentions at that point so that they cannot further misread your signals. If they continue to be persistent and you're not interested, it's probably time to ask yourself if the friendship is worth putting effort into.
- If you find yourself in a situation where you've been asked on a date, and don't feel ready to, make it clear to the interested person that you don't want to be in a relationship. Turn them down politely, with a legitimate reason, otherwise you risk hurting their feelings--especially if you want to be friends. Or, instead of declining a date for the two of you, you could suggest inviting friends to join your activity together. Be clear though that it is not a date, and make sure the interested person understands your intentions.
4
Stay friends, if possible. If they like you as a person, then nothing should have changed in your relationship. If they get mad or upset with you, remember; it's not your fault! Try leaving them alone for a few days so that they can cool off. If they care for you and understand you, they will not let it affect your friendship. Try not to scared away easily. You can still remain friends after turning someone down, but you should always be sensitive to whether or not the other person is willing to continue the friendship, despite their intimate feelings towards you.
- Don't pressure them or make them feel guilty about maintaining the friendship if they are uncomfortable with only remaining friends.
- If you sense a person is starting to take an interest in you, make sure that you are clear from the start that nothing more than a friendship will be possible. Do not lead them on to stroke your own ego because that can definitely hurt any chances of remaining friends. But don't apologize for being friendly either. Some people may misinterpret friendly behavior as interest, which is why it's important to be clear about your intentions using both verbal language and body language.
- Don't stay friends with people who persistently ask you out if you don't feel ready. If you remain friends with such people, you are likely going to end up committing yourself or hurting the other person.
It's okay if dating isn't number one in your priority list. Just have fun and enjoy life to the fullest. Sometimes it's great to be single!
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Responding to Challenges

You of all people know what you're ready for, and feeling pressured to find a mate can be emotionally draining. Tell your close friends and family members about your choice to stay single and your reasoning behind it so that they don't continue to harass you. Otherwise, those people may assume to know your reasoning, which can complicate things even further.
If you had a traumatic experience that has influenced your choice to stay single, do not bear the weight of that incident alone. Reach out to trusted family and friends to help you work through what happened, and/or see a therapist or psychiatrist. Keeping a private journal can also help you work through the experience and overcome it, but do not be fooled: unresolved traumatic experiences can fester over time and create new or worsening problems like anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Do some research to find the best options for your recovery so that you can live a more enjoyable and peaceful life.
Don't forget that there are three outcomes to any intimate relationship: marriage, long-term commitment, or a breakup. Don't date unless you feel prepared for any of the above scenarios. Don't let society's expectations (or your mom's opinion) make you feel like you're a weirdo for wanting some time to date yourself. Embrace your freedom!
4
Take it slow. If you are in a relationship where you are friends with someone but they want to date you, just remember that if you don't want to date them keep it in the friend zone. If they are truly your friend, they will understand. If you have been asked to date but you don't want to, tell them you'd rather be friends for now and not jump into things so quickly.
- Let them decide whether they want to keep you in the friend-zone until you're ready or whether they find it better to go their separate ways. Whatever they choose, have knowledge in the fact that you were honest with them from the very beginning. Appreciate their decision just as they will hopefully respect yours and don't forget that if they truly like you, they will wait until you are ready. After all, if they don't wait, it's their loss!
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Tips

Be honest and considerate of the interested person's emotions if you have to let them down.
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Helpful1 Not Helpful0
If you do choose to pursue a relationship, take it at a pace that is comfortable for you and don't feel pressured to do otherwise. If someone is pressuring you to do things that you aren't comfortable with, the relationship is not healthy.
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Helpful0 Not Helpful0
Be ready with some kind of explanation to combat the "Why are you still single?" question.
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Warnings

Don't avoid friendships out of fear of being asked out, and having to say no. Sometimes, a great friendship can be a lot better than an awkward relationship!
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Helpful3 Not Helpful2
If you feel threatened, or are being stalked, by an interested person, report it to the authorities. Cases of stalking are harder to prove, so be prepared to collect evidence of stalking behavior, if necessary.
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Helpful2 Not Helpful1
Do not let a persistent person convince you to be in a relationship that you don't want to be in.
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Helpful2 Not Helpful1
Don't let your feelings of loneliness convince you to ignore the fact that you aren't ready. Hang out with friends or family if you need to.
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Helpful1 Not Helpful1
Don't lead someone on. Equally, don't let yourself feel peer pressured into dating someone.
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Helpful1 Not Helpful1
Don't feel pressured to do something you aren't ready for. If this is consistently the case with an interested person, you may want to end the relationship because this person doesn't respect your wants and needs.
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Helpful1 Not Helpful1