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This article was co-authored by Katherine Kirkinis, Ed.M., MA. Katherine Kirkinis is a Career Coach and Psychotherapist who has served as a career expert for Forbes, Medium, Best Life, and Working Mother Magazine, and as a diversity and inclusion expert for ATTN and Quartz. She specializes in working with issues of career, identity, and indecision. She has doctoral-level training in career counseling and career assessment and has worked with hundreds of clients to make career decisions through career assessments. She is pursuing a doctoral degree at The University of Albany, SUNY where her work focuses on diversity and inclusion, racism in the workplace, and racial identity. She is a published author and has been featured in academic journals as well as popular media outlets. Her research has been presented at 10+ national APA conferences since 2013.
This article has been viewed 185,335 times.
In a tough economy where one open position can attract numerous qualified candidates and you've been job seeking for some time, on occasion it might seem difficult to hide your feelings of desperation. Although deep down you may be at the end of your rope and tying knots to just hang on, the odor of desperation is readily discernible from your demeanor, words, and attitude. And an aura of "giving up" turns off prospective employers like nothing else can, thereby blowing your chances at what could be the job of a lifetime (or at least a steady paycheck). Rein in your desperateness and show that potential employer your real worth instead!
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 1:
Performing Well in a Job Interview
Be balanced. When summing up your work experience for the interviewer and your skills, take an approach that shows you have learned from your experience and still retain optimism for the future. Avoid using terms that describe current and previous experiences as totally dire or terrifically amazing, because both extremes will be discounted by an interviewer as unrealistic and unbalanced. Find the middle way to describe your experience and you won't sound desperate to convey exaggerated viewpoints.
Present well from the moment you enter the interview room. Dress well, even if the potential workplace consists of people who don jeans every day. Contrary to a desire to "be yourself" through appearing "casual as" or devil-may-care, you can't afford to give any impression of sloppiness, as it imprints "desperate" across your forehead. Be sure that your clothing is neat, ironed if appropriate for the fabric, adjusted to the standard of the workplace you're hoping to join, tucked in where needed (and nothing hanging out that shouldn't be) and that your hair is one hundred percent dry (wet hair suggests you only just made it out the door).- Have a firm handshake. Not too strong, not too weak––a handshake speaks volumes about your self-confidence. In particular, a floppy handshake will cause the interviewer to feel that you aren't really into this interview from the start.
Never make excuses for any inadequacies. If you have a few hiccups in your resume, a long stretch of time out of work, or questionable happenings that may not be in writing but are likely to be known in the industry, don’t excuse them with self-effacing excuses. Interviews are a moment of self sales pitching, and making comments about your lack of skills, lack of confidence and not feeling worthy will scare the employer off––remember that they have a wide choice of people and understanding your personal issues isn't their top priority.- See a recruitment counselor, coach or therapist if the job seeking is bringing you down. It is important to get your anger, frustration, shyness, etc. dealt with away from the interview situation and the professionals in these fields are there to do just that. They can make a difference, especially if you start ruminating too much and begin to see the whole search as hopeless.
Never point fingers. Things go wrong at work for everyone at times. Sometimes, they are wrong enough to cause you to want to leave a job or to end up in being fired. Yet, a potential employer isn't going to feel reassured if you explain that the reason for no longer being in your old job is because "X did such and such to me". Once you start placing blame or making excuses, you're going to look weak, lacking in the ability to be either a team player or to lead/manage, and you'll most likely come across as desperate. Avoid placing blame on someone else. Regardless of the situation, never tell your interviewer that you lost your job or a project fell apart due to the incompetence of another person. Instead, be confident when you state the facts and explain what it would take to create a successful situation (if you were able to do it over again).- Don’t just blame the economy or the job market. Once again, blame is typically frowned upon during an interview as it's an indicator of a wider tendency to place blame rather than accept responsibility––something few employers want to see in their employees. Your interviewer knows that the economy is down in the dumps and that jobs in various industries are scarce, so pointing out this obvious fact, or making it the reason you're unemployed, will only have a negative effect on your interview.
- Never badmouth another person or previous employer in order to lay blame for a mistake. Employ the cardinal rule of “never burning your bridges”, no matter how much another person tormented you or perhaps even sabotaged your life. If you badmouth another, you may end up looking like a whiner, bad guy or worse... a victim.
Be calm and confident during your discussion. The best way to approach feeling nervous, being asked challenging questions and worrying about your general prospects, is to remain calm and cool during your interview. Don’t dwell on problems in the past. Instead, punctuate your strengths and play up what you can bring to the potential employer’s company now and for the future.- Remember—the best way to "come off" as educated is to do your homework! Turn off your phone, find a quiet space, and set aside 2 or more chunks of time to research the role, interviewer, and anything else about the potential job that you're not well-versed in.
- In preparation for an interview, write out your strengths on paper. This will help you to identify them, as well as giving you the chance to focus on those that truly stand out for you in relation to the particular job you're interviewing for. Read through these strengths many times and elaborate on them out loud, as if talking to the interviewer. The more that you know this aspect of yourself inside out, the easier it will flow for you during the interview.
- Do the same preparation for common interview questions. Write them down and write down answers. Then role play scenarios in the lead-up to the interview so that when you're actually asked the questions, they are already familiar to you and you feel calm in answering them. There will always be questions that differ from those you've prepared for, but you will have enough basic material well ordered in your head to work from that these shouldn't throw you.
- Do plenty of background research into the company you're applying for. If they ask you what their last year's sales figures were, what their corporate logo means, who started the company and why, what the corporate philosophy is, etc., you'll know if you've read their website and annual report or equivalent, inside out. While researching, never hesitate to call the company with factual questions that need clarification. It is better to have shown the initiative to find out than to panic and go blank.
Avoid using “desperate” language during the interview. There are certain phrases and language that are definitely off limits if you don’t want to look desperate. These include:- Stop yourself from saying that you’ll “do anything” to land the job. As opposed to having the right experience or education to handle the job, telling the employer you’ll literally do anything to land it may turn him or her off. It suggests that you no longer have credible skills or value yourself enough.
- On the other hand, don't oversell yourself. Identify your strengths, but be humble when talking about your accomplishments. If you come on too strong you’ll look desperately aggressive––and possibly a little scary. Nobody wants to hear a narcissistic rant about how brilliant you are or how you single-handedly saved the company; keep it realistic and always remember that it takes a village as far as the interviewer is concerned.
- Monitor how many times you communicate that you are the right person for the job. It’s okay to let the prospective employer know that you're the ideal fit for the job (after you’ve discussed the dimensions of the job as compared to your qualifications), but it will look like you are laying it on too thick if you keep telling him or her that you're the best person for the job after each statement or comment. Spread it thinly––they hear you.
Be careful with throwaway comments. Sometimes desperation shows in the little things you after a perfectly well presented answer––things best left unsaid. For example, you might have just explained why you want the job to the interviewers and really impressed them. And then, you add a final comment like "because my current job is just crazy and I don't really know why I'm still doing it." You've just undone all the good that came from what you said! Throwaway comments, even if a poor attempt at humor, are nervousness creeping in. Consciously avoid this nervous tic, as it's what the interviewer will remember.- Don't try to turn the interviewer into your co-conspirator. It may feel tempting to try to get the interviewer "on side" but the fact you've got an interview should already reassure you that they're interested enough. By saying things like "you know what I mean", or "I'm sure you know the kind of thing I'm talking about" or "I bet you've had a similar experience", etc., you cross a line from formal discussion into informal and rather invasive presumptions about the interviewer. You're not there to know their mind; rather, they're there to get to know yours. Doing this won't win you a friend and it may lose you the job.
Watch your body language and tone. Body language (demeanor) and the manner in which you speak can be a dead giveaway that you're feeling “desperate.” Practice a role play interview in front of the mirror, seated. Notice how you're coming across when you say certain things, such as describing why you want the job, talking about the company's background and answering standard (or not-so-standard) interview questions. You might even video yourself using your computer. Whatever method you use, look for body and demeanor tell-tale signs of confidence or desperation. For example, a confident interviewee will sit tall but not rigidly, will lean slightly in toward the interviewers and will smile more often than not. A desperate interviewee might fidget, look down, push the chair back a little and make poor eye contact.- Breathe regularly and slow down while you're talking. One of the telltale signs of desperation and anxiety is talking too fast and/or sounding like you're trying to get as much information out as fast as possible (so that you don’t forget what you wanted to say). Without being overly obvious, take a breath before you speak and consciously try to control the speed in which the words leave your mouth. It is okay to ask for a moment to restore your composure if you feel blank or overly nervous.
- Never interrupt and never talk over the interviewer or answer questions too quickly. You may be overly enthusiastic about making sure the interviewer knows you're qualified, which may prompt you to talk over what he or she is saying. Or, your might try to jump in and answer questions before the interviewer finishes asking them. This will worry the interviewer that you're impatient, incapable of listening or just plain rude. Slow down, you will still get across everything in the time given.
- Gently place your hands in your lap and relax. The idea is that if you appear relaxed but confident, your interviewer will see you as a viable candidate that could be an asset to the company. Relaxed people reassure others, so above all, work on looking confidently relaxed.
- Sit tall, but avoid looking too stiff. Posture is an important subconscious indicator of a person's sense of self-worth. Don’t lean too far forward or slouch––either position will give off the wrong signal that you're desperate or have simply given up.
Don’t act too available. Once again, the rules of dating apply. Without stating that you're interviewing with other firms, give your prospective employer the impression that other companies––possibly competitors, are pursuing you (even if they aren’t).- Bring your planner to the interview (that should be filled with “appointments”) to make sure your interviewer doesn’t think your dance card isn’t filled.
- If the interviewer calls you back, don’t jump to answer the phone on the first ring. In fact, let the first call go to voicemail, listen to what the interviewer has to say and then call back within a few hours. If you do answer the phone, always ask for time to consider their offer.
- Give the impression that you're fielding offers. Listen intently to what the interview has to offer and say. If he or she makes you an offer, thank the interviewer and ask if you can call him or her back later that day. Don’t wait too long or else the employer may think you aren’t interested, however don’t just jump with an answer of “yes” the minute the interviewer presents the offer. You still want to obtain the best scenario for you.
Follow up with your interviewer, but within reason. Calling your interviewer from your car five minutes following your discussion will most certainly make you look desperate. When it comes to follow up, apply a few rules typically reserved for dating:- Contact your interviewer after 48 hours of your interview with a thank you phone call and brief card. Don’t jump on the horn immediately but don’t drag your feet with follow up. A two business day wait time will make you still appear interested in the job but not desperate. Also, the two-pronged follow-up allows you to verbally touch base and answer any questions the interviewer may have, and the card keeps you front and center on paper.
- Avoid re-stating why you should have the job. Instead focus on why you enjoyed meeting the interviewer. Your interviewer most likely knows the reasons why you want the job (based on your interview), so re-stating those reasons during your follow up may lend you toward appearing desperate. Instead, just re-iterate that you enjoyed meeting him/her and mention that you are open to any questions not covered during the interview.
- Only follow up once, but make sure your follow-up left a positive (and not desperate) impression. If you follow up two days later but don’t hear anything a day or two later, leave it alone. At this point the interviewer knows you're very interested in the job and if you keep calling and/or following up, he or she may get annoyed with you. Also, when you make that follow up call, be upbeat and to the point. Tell the interviewer you were touching base in case he or she had any additional questions, and then mention something about the positive exchange you had.
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Expert Q&A
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- QuestionHow do you list your qualifications in an interview?
Katherine Kirkinis, Ed.M., MAKatherine Kirkinis is a Career Coach and Psychotherapist who has served as a career expert for Forbes, Medium, Best Life, and Working Mother Magazine, and as a diversity and inclusion expert for ATTN and Quartz. She specializes in working with issues of career, identity, and indecision. She has doctoral-level training in career counseling and career assessment and has worked with hundreds of clients to make career decisions through career assessments. She is pursuing a doctoral degree at The University of Albany, SUNY where her work focuses on diversity and inclusion, racism in the workplace, and racial identity. She is a published author and has been featured in academic journals as well as popular media outlets. Her research has been presented at 10+ national APA conferences since 2013.
Career Coach & PsychotherapistMention your qualifications with grace and humility! You want to highlight how you're unique, but you also don't want to talk poorly about other people. For instance, you might say "One of the things that I think makes me really unique is that I have training in this area, which I know is really uncommon. I'm sure you have a lot of wonderful candidates, but not everyone has that kind of training." Saying something positive about other people while also highlighting your unique qualities is really important.
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Tips
- Let much of your true personality come through by having confidence in yourself. Who you really are will ensure a good click with the interviewers if this is the right job for you, so do your best to relax and shine. On the other hand, don't be so much "yourself", that you think it's okay to take up residence in the interview room and parade your eccentricities, personal quirks and intense dislikes. Balance and propriety are more important than airing your personal laundry (which can make you seem desperate and unhappy with life in general).Thanks
- Choose the companies you interview with and jobs you interview for well. Choose them for personal reasons so that when you do feel something about it, you like that company for real reasons. The feeling is likely to be mutual.Thanks
- Answer questions or make your point using succinct, concise sentences––avoid rambling on and on during an interview.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don't apply to any job that you hate. There are jobs you would love. Keep searching until you find the ones that you have a personal reason to want to do that work. It's bad for you and for the company if you hate your work, a net loss to everyone. Not being desperate (no matter how long it takes to find the right match) is the best way not to seem desperate.Thanks
- Not all workplaces value group harmony––some actively pit team members against each other to achieve various good results for the company. In this case, showing yourself as the maverick who questions others may be important rather than toning down your anti-team rhetoric. Of course, this is the rarer case and as such, you should know the workplace ethos from your researching prior to the interview (in fact, it's probably why you applied to the company in the first place). On the whole though, respect teamwork when it comes to explaining why you left a job; taking your former job loss out on others usually smells of desperation.Thanks
- Watch out for the potential to come across arrogant in an effort to show the company your value. Remember, it's okay to be positive but keep it humble. One of the best ways to balance out positive statements about your own achievements is to be equally free about complimenting others - managers and employers from the past, the interviewer, the company that you want to work for. You have honest reasons to want to work there, tell them. That reason should not be "I'm desperate and will do anything that has a paycheck."Thanks
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About this article
Katherine Kirkinis, Ed.M., MA
Career Coach & Psychotherapist
This article was co-authored by Katherine Kirkinis, Ed.M., MA. Katherine Kirkinis is a Career Coach and Psychotherapist who has served as a career expert for Forbes, Medium, Best Life, and Working Mother Magazine, and as a diversity and inclusion expert for ATTN and Quartz. She specializes in working with issues of career, identity, and indecision. She has doctoral-level training in career counseling and career assessment and has worked with hundreds of clients to make career decisions through career assessments. She is pursuing a doctoral degree at The University of Albany, SUNY where her work focuses on diversity and inclusion, racism in the workplace, and racial identity. She is a published author and has been featured in academic journals as well as popular media outlets. Her research has been presented at 10+ national APA conferences since 2013. This article has been viewed 185,335 times.
Co-authors: 28
Updated: May 4, 2023
Views: 185,335
Article SummaryX
To avoid appearing desperate during a job interview, arrive on time with wrinkle-free clothing and dry hair, so you appear as prepared as possible. Then, during the interview itself, avoid desperate-sounding language, like how you’d “do anything” to land the job. Additionally, make sure you've thought about a few of your strengths beforehand, so you'll know what to say if they ask! Finally, practice giving mock answers in the mirror to make sure your body language projects confidence. Keep scrolling for more preparation strategies to help you feel as confident as possible!
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