How to Attend a Sleepover when You Know That You Wet the Bed

If you just received an invitation to attend a sleepover, but you know you wet your bed, don't worry. While some precautionary measures might be necessary, you can ensure your problems don't make for an uncomfortable or awkward social event if you follow these directions.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Before

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Responding to the Invitation

It's embarrassing to wet the bed, but there's no use crying over the situation. If you make a few adjustments to prevent an accident during the sleepover, you can attend to it without worry. You may feel embarrassed, but even at age eleven, twelve, or thirteen, lots of kids still wet the bed.^{[1]XTrustworthy SourceMichigan MedicineThe University of Michigan's medical center, which provides patient care, supports research, and educates the public on health topicsGo to source}
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Consider whether you can trust your host with information about your problem. Hosts who are true friends of yours should keep your secret and won't make you feel ashamed. If you're not sure you trust them, you may have to be more discreet or have your parents discuss their parents' issues, rather than looping them in.
- If you respond to the host soon after you get the sleepover invitation, you can always decline without telling them why.
- Bedwetting can be linked with medical conditions that can affect people of all sorts. Just like some people can't see without glasses, and some can't get around without a wheelchair, some people have trouble with urinary control. A true friend will understand and accept that it's an unintentional medical issue. Sometimes people may have sensitive bladders or even sleep really still and don't wake up when their bladder tells them.
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If you are attending, contact the host and let them know by whatever means they prefer. You don't have to mention that you have bedwetting issues at this stage.

Getting into a Routine

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Try to find a reliable prevention method for accidents. Getting into a routine before the sleepover will help you get used to it. Have your parents help you choose a reliable prevention method. You might use bedwetting diapers, bedwetting pads, or any of the other bedwetting protection products available.
- You'll inevitably need some help learning the ropes with any of these, and your parent's advice can be valuable. You may be hesitant to wear a protective garment like bedwetting diapers, but you may also find it comforting to know you won't have a visible accident.
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Utilize your prevention methods any time you may drift off to sleep. Get used to your protection methods any time you either take a nap or go to bed. Even if you plan to wake soon, practicing with their use can help you feel ready for the sleepover.
- Make sure you have some back-up packs of diapers and/or bedwetting pads. You'll want enough for emergencies and so that you can practice wearing them before the sleepover.
- Use nighttime-specific/bedwetting diapers (not training pants or similar lighter diapers) to make sure they can hold the result of an accident all night and that they fit you well when you wear them.
- Place a new disposable bed pad on the bed. You may want to purchase more than one pack for extra coverage. The most common bed mats sold for bedwetting are called Goodnites Bed Mats and are available at most supermarkets and online retailers.
- You may also need a waterproof mattress cover so any overflowing urine won't make it onto the mattress. You can find these at various retailers, including Toys 'R' Us. If possible and practical, you may want to use a cover at your host's house too, but the feasibility of this may depend on where you're sleeping and what you're willing to tell them about your bedwetting.
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Set up a system to ensure you won't forget to change into your diaper before bed. You may choose to keep your bedwetting diaper packages out and visible at first, so you don't forget them.
- Have your parents check on your supplies every few days to make sure you don't run out. It's better to be prepared for an emergency than to run out. As long as you have some emergency and back-up supplies, you should be fine.
- Set up your changing routine so changes can be quick and easy. Open your disposable bedwetting diaper packages properly so that it's easy to grab a fresh diaper quickly.
- Use a fresh diaper each night. Used diapers should be thrown away regardless of whether or not you had an accident in them.
At the sleepover, it'll be up to you to clean up and dispose of your trash properly. Wet disposable bedwetting diapers should be bagged and thrown away, ideally in a garbage can with a lid.
Track your daily diaper use and discuss with your family how you can tackle problems you may encounter. Ensure you know how to change your own bedwetting diapers at the sleepover, and get help practicing if needed.

Packing and Preparing

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Pack a backpack for when you leave for your sleepover. Ensure that you pack more than one disposable bedwetting diaper to ensure that you don't have any protection problem accidents during the night, along with at least two sets of clean clothes.
- Pack a bed mat or two on the bottom to cushion the backpack and clothes and keep things clean. Be sure to pack a few plastic grocery bags too, for used diapers and so you can bring home any wet clothes to wash and dry.
Have them explain that you wet the bed, but that you are trained to handle your own accidents and can do things on your own. Make sure they know you have a system, so they realize you won't damage the mattress. Some parents may need reassurance that you'll have the supplies you need, and they won't be responsible for cleaning up.
If your bedwetting is related to medical issues, you may have medications you need to take. Take your medications before you leave your house, or bring them with you in your backpack.
Baggy nightclothes help minimize the sound of the diaper ruffling every time you move around on the bed. You can always put on a clean pair of underwear overtop of the diaper if you want to feel more protected, too, but this may make some noise against your diaper.
Do a dry run of diapering yourself within a few hours of the sleepover, but have your parents nearby to ensure they don't spot potential problems that can be easily avoided. This will help you feel more confident that you can handle the change alone.
You may want to change out of your day clothes and into your nightwear before even being transported to the sleepover if it suits the activities planned.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Arrival

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If your parents have already let the host parents know about your plan, there's really no big need to draw more attention to it. If you prefer, you can tell them that you have accidents in your bed, but you have measures to protect the bed.
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Be as discrete as you can be. Bedwetting is natural. You can be discrete about your habits, but your host or any of the other sleepover invitees may realize that you're wearing diapers or using bedwetting pads. You don't have to be ashamed. If asked, tell them, "It doesn't happen much, but I wanted to be safe." You're entitled to your privacy, and you don't have to explain any more than you want to.
- If the parents corner you and ask you about your bedwetting problem, talk to them privately over on the side when their kids aren't in earshot range. The parents may need to be reassured that you can handle your problems yourself so that they may check in with you. Just explain that you have it under control. Don't be shy or ashamed.
- Say as much or as little as you want to say about it. Determine if you can divulge your secrets to the host family's kids. Don't be shy or ashamed, but tell them what you want to tell them. It's easy enough to be fairly discrete about your underwear and bathroom habits.
Look for a place you can drop off your backpack. The parents will most often help you set up the bed if you tell them that you brought along a mattress pad. If possible, do this during a quiet moment before everyone else gets ready for bed, so it's all set up ahead of time. Ask the parents for help if needed.
Use the disposable products that you packed to help protect the bed. If you're not already in your bedwetting diaper, bring it to the bathroom discretely and put it on. Do the same routine you should be used to doing at home.
You can use this to hold your trash after you change.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

During the Night

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Prepare yourself for a quick change should an accident occur during the night. The diaper and bed mat may protect your body and the bed, but no piece of clothing is foolproof, no matter what it claims. Keep some spare supplies and clothes nearby for a quick change if needed.
- If your bedwetting is severe, you might want to choose to double-diaper yourself. However, for most bedwetters, double-diapering isn't needed.
Don't wake everyone else up; quietly take care of business.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

The Next Morning

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Go to the bathroom to change your diaper and clothes. Do this as part of your normal dressing routine.
- If you have time before the host family's kid awakens, you might be able to slip into the bathroom and change yourself out of the diaper early. However, if the host family's kids are awake and want to be discreet, you may prefer to delay your clothing change.
- If you don't have enough time to change when you wake up, you may end up having to change your clothes once you are back at home. However, if you did have an accident, your diaper may smell, so changing right away is preferable.
Even if they say it's okay to put the dirty ones in a trash can, try to take them back home with you when you leave. Use your own plastic bag and dispose of your trash at home so that you don't leave any smelly disposables in their trash.
Throw into the plastic supermarket bag all of your used bedwetting diapers, and put this bag into your backpack for you to take home.
Say goodbye however you usually would, and let them know you had a great time.

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Tips

If you're staying over for more than one consecutive night, you will probably want to dispose of your supplies on the premises. Talk to the host parents about how they prefer you do this. Don't keep a wet diaper on over multiple days or nights.
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If you can reduce the risk of wetting the bed overnight by not having anything to drink for an hour and a half before bedtime. Make sure you empty your bladder before bedtime.
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If your sleepover turns into a slumber party, set aside some slumber party ideas for stuff to do before the sleepover. Let life go on as normal, but have a few different things going on before the sleeping portion to ensure you two can form a close friendship and bonding time that night.
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Warnings

If you can make it into the bathroom that night, go and take care of "business" in the bathroom itself.
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Don't feel ashamed if you have a medical condition that means you wet your bed occasionally. Use protection for your body and carry on with life as normal.
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Never place a plastic bag or waterproof or plastic sheet on top of you in bed. Plastic and waterproof sheets can cause suffocation if misused.
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Never use bedwetting alarms if you don't want your friends to find out that you bedwet. Although the alarm will alert you to the moisture before the bedwetting accident occurs, they'll also warn the host family that you're wetting the bed too. Take other preventative measures above to ensure you have a safe, restful, and enjoyable sleepover.
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