11 Ways to Ask Someone If They Like You

What to say in-person, over text, or on the phone to figure out if someone has feelings for you

Ready to take the plunge and ask your crush if they like you? You’ve come to the right place. We're here to help with tons of advice and scripting examples, whether you're asking them face-to-face, on the phone, or over text. It's totally normal to feel a bit nervous, but it'll be worth it in the end and could lead to the start of an exciting new relationship.

1

Ask them directly.

The best option is to be direct and just ask them how they feel. This might be the most nerve-racking option, but it can also be super rewarding! If they tell you that they don’t have feelings for you, you’ll at least know where you stand. On the other hand, if they do have feelings for you, your boldness totally paid off! Don't know what to say? Try these lines:^{[1]XResearch source}
- “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you better, and I wanted to ask if you like me as more than a friend. Whatever your answer is, we can work through it.”
- ”We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently, and I’ve started to feel like there’s something more between us. Do you have feelings for me?”
- Whatever they say, be kind and respect their answer. If they say they’re not into you, say something like, “I understand. I hope we can stay friends because I really enjoy your company!”

2

Give them a call.

The comfort of a phone call could give you the confidence boost you need! It may be tougher to gauge how they’re feeling because you won’t be able to see their body language.^{[2]XResearch source} In fact, some research suggests that nonverbal communication makes up 90 percent of the communication cues we receive!^{[3]XResearch source} However, if you’re feeling a bit too anxious to talk face-to-face, give them a ring and ask if they like you.
- Since it’s tougher to read people over the phone, it’s important to use direct, clear language. This will help avoid miscommunications.
- Try saying something like, “Recently I’ve been getting the feeling that you like me as more than a friend. Do you have romantic feelings for me?”

3

Set up a video call or FaceTime.

Take advantage of technology with video chat to see how they feel. A video call is also a great option if distance or busy schedules make it hard to meet face-to-face.^{[4]XResearch source} Choose a platform for the video call (FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, etc), and schedule a time that works for you and your crush. On the call, ask the other person how they feel clearly and directly. Say “I have romantic feelings for you, and I was wondering if you feel the same way about me.”
- Since the other person will be able to see you, boost your confidence by dressing and styling your hair in a way that makes you feel awesome. Being comfortable in your own skin is attractive!

4

Shoot them a text.

If you want time to think about what to say, send a message. Asking over text is the perfect solution if you’re afraid you’ll get tongue-tied when talking face-to-face or over the phone.^{[5]XResearch source} Texting can take the pressure off the other person, too because they won’t feel pressured to answer immediately, like they would in a verbal conversation.^{[6]XExpert SourceJoshua Pompey
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 27 November 2019.} Take your time writing your message, so that you can say exactly what you want to say.
- When you’re texting, it’s harder for the other person to judge how you’re feeling because they can’t see your body language or hear the tone of your voice.^{[7]XResearch source}
- Use clear, specific language. For example, don't write "I think you know how I feel about you." Instead, write, "I wanted to let you know that I have feelings for you as more than a friend. Do you feel the same way?”

5

Write them a short note.

Give them a handwritten note for a heartfelt option. This option allows you to take your time to decide what to say, just like texting does. It’s also a great option if you’re too nervous to see the other person’s reaction face-to-face. Hand them the note and tell them to open it later when they’re alone, or leave it somewhere for them to find (like in their bag, locker, or desk). Here are some examples of what to write:
- “Hey Rasheed! I have so much fun when we hang out, and I love being around you. I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend. Do you feel the same way?”
- “Hi Grace! I wanted to see if you wanted to go on a date this weekend. I’ve loved spending time with you the past few weeks, and I’d really like to get to know you better. Are you free this Friday night?”

6

Tell them how you feel.

Open up to your crush to see if they feel the same way. When you open up about your own feelings, it could make your crush more comfortable to share theirs. Plus, research shows that people are more likely to reciprocate your feelings once they learn that you like them, so opening up could lead them to develop feelings for you, too.^{[8]XResearch source} Here are some examples of ways to tell them how you feel:
- “I really like spending time around you, and I want to get to know you better. Would you be open to going on a date?”
- “I’ve been thinking about our relationship, and I think I like you as more than a friend. I was wondering if you feel the same way.”
- Remember, tons of factors go into whether or not someone has a crush on you. If your crush doesn’t feel the same way, it has nothing to do with how special you are!

7

Ask them about their dating or love life.

Gauge their reaction when approaching the subject indirectly. Try asking open-ended questions about whether or not they’re dating anyone or looking for a relationship. This could be particularly helpful if you recently met your crush and don’t know them very well yet. Say, "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" or "Are you open to dating right now?"
- They might say that they aren’t looking for a relationship right now, or that they’re already dating someone else.
- On the other hand, they could say that they’re single and open to dating someone. If this happens, ask them what kind of a person they want to date.
  - If the person they describe seems a lot like you, they might be dropping a hint that they have feelings for you!

8

Drop a few hints about how you feel.

For a subtle approach, hint that you like them.^{[9]XResearch source} For example, you could hint that you're open to a relationship, or you could even drop hints that you have feelings for your crush. If they have feelings for you too, they might use this opening to open up or ask you on a date! Here are some smooth conversation starters to try:
- “I’ve been single for a while now, but recently I’ve been thinking that I’m ready to get back out there.”
- “It’s really wild that we have so much in common. I feel like we’re always on the same page!”
- “You have such a great sense of humor! You always know what to say to make me laugh.”

9

Ask a mutual friend to ask for you.

If you’re not ready to approach your crush, get help from a pal. Your friend can do some investigating and ask the other person how they feel about you, and whether or not they are looking for a relationship. Once you have this information, it’ll be easier to know how to move forward! Your friend could say something like:
- "I've noticed you've been hanging out with [your name] a lot lately. Do you like them as more than a friend?"
- "I know you've been single for a while. Are you thinking about getting back out there anytime soon?"

10

Flirt and gauge their reaction to see if they have feelings for you.

If you’re too nervous to ask directly, try to make them laugh. Humor is an essential part of flirting, and research shows that it is a strong indicator of whether or not someone is romantically interested in you.^{[10]XResearch source} Tell them a story about a funny experience you’ve had, or show them a funny meme or video. Pay attention to their reactions—If they laugh at what you’re saying and try to make their own jokes, there’s a good chance they have feelings for you!
- While you’re having a humorous conversation, pay attention to whether or not the other person mirrors your behavior.
- For example, you might touch your hair or cross your legs, and the other person might unconsciously mimic these movements shortly after.
- Mirroring is something people unconsciously do when they like you.^{[11]XResearch source}

11

Chat over text or on social media to see how they respond.

Send a funny text to feel things out. This is a great method to test someone’s interest without revealing your feelings.^{[12]XResearch source} Once you get a flirty text convo going, it’ll be easier to gauge whether this person has feelings for you. If their responses are short and they don't seem invested in the conversation, they might not feel the same way. On the other hand, if they're engaged and sending messages and memes back to you, they could have feelings for you!
- Think about the other person’s sense of humor, and try to send them a meme that they would find funny.
- For example, if they love dogs, send them a funny dog meme. Or, if they have a favorite TV show, send them a meme related to the show.
- Tailoring your messages to their interests and personality will show them that you're thoughtful and that you pay attention to the things they say!

Expert Q&A

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Question
How can you figure out if someone actually likes you?
Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Answer
A lot of it is getting a feel for the person and hanging around them to pick up on small cues. A lot of the time, you just have to trust your instinct.
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Question
Can you ask your crush over text?
Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Answer
Yes! Texting is a great way to talk to your crush because you can think about what you want to say and don't have to face them in-person. Plus, your crush can think out a response before replying to you.
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I'm not sure if my girlfriend actually likes me. What do I do?
How.com.vn Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
How.com.vn Staff Editor
Staff Answer
If you're not sure about how your girlfriend is feeling, sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. If you can't see her in person, call her over the phone or video chat so you can communicate more easily, since it's hard to get clues like facial expression or tone of voice over text. Say something like, "Hey, sometimes I'm not sure how you're feeling about me or our relationship, and I just wanted to chat and make sure we're both on the same page." Listen openly to what she has to say.
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