How to Accept Not Getting Your Desired Role in a Play

When the cast list for your school play was posted, you may have been disappointed to not see your name next to the part you tried out for. You may have gotten a smaller part or a chorus role, or no part at all. In order to move on, deal with your disappointment--it’s necessary to learn how to deal with rejection as a performer. Do your best in the role that you received, and if you didn’t receive a role, consider working on the theater crew for a different perspective of the theater world.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Dealing with Disappointment

1
Allow yourself to be disappointed. It’s okay to be sad, especially if you put a lot of effort into preparing for your audition. Rejection hurts. Acknowledging and naming what you are feeling helps you work through your emotions.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Try naming all the things that are bothering you. For example, you might say, “I am disappointed that I worked so hard only to get rejected. I am jealous that Jackie got a part and I didn’t. I feel left out that a lot of my friends are in big parts in the play, and I won’t get to hang out with them as much.”^{[2]XResearch source}
- Talk to a close friend or family member about what you are feeling. Sometimes talking to others helps you feel better and help you better understand your thoughts.
- Be gentle with yourself. Take a day or two to be sad. Watch some movies or whatever you like to do to chill out for a bit. Then, regroup and move on to your next challenge.
2
Get some perspective. It is disappointing to not get the role you want, but there will be other roles. To be an actor is to routinely deal with disappointment, and know that you are not the first or the last person to feel this way.^{[3]XResearch source}
- Stay positive—understanding the odds of landing a role helps can help you put things in perspective.
- Talk to others who are feeling or who have felt this way. Maybe other members of the production’s cast and crew were denied the part they wanted. Find some common ground with them--you may even strike up a new friendship.
- Read books, articles, and blogs by other actors and learn how they deal with rejection.
3
Channel your disappointment into motivation and action. Figure out your next steps. You missed out on this play, but there are other opportunities out there. You could look for other local plays or take acting workshops. Use this setback to become even more determined to succeed!^{[4]XResearch source}
- Having a process that you can count on that gives you confidence. People can smell confidence and people want to hire confidence.
- Think about other roles you can audition for. Maybe you didn’t get the lead in the fall musical, but the winter play is coming up soon. Find out what the play will be and start preparing for the role you want.
- Look into other theater productions you can audition for. There might be local shows in your community that are holding auditions soon, and maybe there are even some professional opportunities near you.
4
Think of the positives. Try using positive self-talk after you didn't get the role that you wanted to help you stay motivated.
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Think of all the benefits of not getting the part you wanted. Even if they’re silly, write them all down and make a list. There are two sides to every coin, after all. For example, you might write:^{[5]XResearch source}

How.com.vn English: Take a Leap of Faith Step 8

1
- Fewer lines mean less work trying to remember them.
- Limited appearances onstage mean fewer after-school rehearsals to go to.
- A minor role means less pressure to do a perfect job.
2
Accept that you were not right for the role. A director may have a very specific idea of what they are looking for in a role, and for whatever reason, you didn’t fit it. You can give the best audition of your life, but you can’t control the director’s vision.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Keep in mind that directors factor a lot of things into their decision about who gets the part. Perhaps the director didn’t think you had good chemistry with the person who would play your romantic interest, or perhaps your appearance wasn’t quite what the director had in mind for the role. These things are all out of your control.
- Don’t blame yourself. Rather than tell yourself, “I have no talent. Nobody wants me for their play,” try saying “I did my best, but I wasn’t a good fit. There will be other opportunities.”^{[7]XResearch source}
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Doing Your Best in Your Role

1
Be the best you can be in your role. If you got a smaller role in the play, take it just as seriously as you would your preferred major role. Show the director that you have a good work ethic, and they may keep you in mind for future shows.
- Make your character shine, even if you are in the chorus.
- Show up to all your rehearsals.
- Learn your lines and know your blocking.
2
Have a positive attitude. Come to rehearsal with a smile on your face, ready to work. Don’t complain if you have to rehearse the same scene twelve times in a row to get it right, and ignore other people’s complaints. Acknowledge how lucky you are to have a part in the production, no matter how small it may be.
- If you are feeling frustrated by the rehearsal process, you could tell yourself, “I want to be here. I’m here to learn. I’m lucky to have this part.”
- Don’t talk badly about other performers behind their backs. It is unprofessional. Don’t say things like, “I know I could have done that scene a thousand times better than he did.”
- Congratulate the person who got the part you wanted. It shows grace and maturity. You could say, “I think you are going to do a fabulous job as Dolly. You have such an amazing voice!”
3
Pay attention. Since you will have more downtime with a smaller part, observe the production coming together and witness the rehearsals. Watch the director blocking the actors or offering insight on how to deliver lines. Use what you learn and apply it to your current and future roles.
- For example, the director may consistently ask the actors to use more gestures when saying their lines. Tuck this piece of advice away for the future. If you get a chance to audition for the director again, be sure to utilize more gestures in your audition!
- Learn from the other actors. Watch what they do and apply their strengths to your own performance technique.
4
Offer to be an understudy. If understudies for roles in your production have not been assigned, approach your director and offer to step in if necessary. You never know when you will get an opportunity to step up in a production, so pay attention to other people’s parts and responsibilities. Sometimes people need to back out of productions due to unforeseen circumstances.
- You could say, “Mr. Williams, I know you haven’t assigned an understudy for Melanie’s part yet. I’d love to be considered for the opportunity. I’ve been watching the blocking and have a pretty good handle on the lines.”
5
Have fun! Even if you didn’t get your dream role, being in a play can be great fun. You may make new friendships or forge stronger ones as you work together toward a common goal. Enjoy the experience, and celebrate your cast’s accomplishment when it comes time to perform your play.
- Enjoy your downtime during rehearsals by getting to know your castmates.
- Invite your friends and family to come to see you. Have your parents take pictures and take a video of your play.
- Have fun at the cast party and celebrate a job well done!
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Taking a Backstage Role

1
Work on the theater crew. If you didn’t get a part, try volunteering for the theater crew. If you enjoy theater and dream of doing it professionally one day, taking a backstage role for this production could teach you things about the theater that may come in handy in the future.
- Even if you don’t anticipate pursuing theater as a career, learning more about what goes on behind the scenes at a production can help you appreciate shows that you see even more.
- Working backstage will give you the chance to build skills that go far beyond the stage, including those in business, technology, management, and design.
2
Get out your needle and thread. Working on costumes for a play may mean you learn some new sewing skills, or you may spend time hunting through dress racks at the thrift store. No matter what you do, you will be creating an important component of the theater experience.
- Your work will help set the mood and era of a play. A character’s costume helps further develop the character by giving the audience clues to their social status, age, or occupation, among other things.^{[8]XResearch source}
3
Design a set. As a member of the set design crew, it will be your job to develop the scenery for the play. All props and background scenery will become your responsibility.^{[9]XResearch source}
- You may learn basic carpentry skills as you build sets.
- You may raid your grandma’s attic looking for useful props.
- You may paint huge background scenes to be displayed behind the actors.
4
Head to the booth. Learn more about the technology of the theater by working on the production’s sound and lighting. You will gain good technical experience and provide essential enhancements to the show itself.
- A sound designer will work with actors to amplify their voices, as well as acquire any necessary sound effects or music needed in the production. Sounds can help establish time and place, change the mood, or create audience expectation.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Working on the lighting helps create mood, shifts emphasis from one character to the next, establishes time, and makes the actors and scenery clearly visible to the audience.^{[11]XResearch source}
5
Work in the house. The “house,” or the physical theater and lobby itself, can give you some business and hospitality experience. You can sell tickets, help people find their seats, and distribute programs.^{[12]XResearch source}
- You could also work in promoting the show by designing flyers and posters to be placed around your school and in your community. You could learn how to reach out to the media to inform them of the upcoming performance.^{[13]XResearch source}
- You could design the programs used for the performance.
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Question
I got an ensemble role in "Elf" and I am super disappointed. I really thought my audition went well! I'm in middle school, and some of the kids in my theater group are high schoolers. What can I do?
Community Answer
I would just say keep at it! Don't give up. Those high school kids may be good, but they have to graduate someday. So when they do, you'll be at the top! Don't give up, don't quit. The more you practice and stay at it, the better you'll get. Also, don't remember to have fun. Try not to decide what role you want. When you audition, don't think about competition between people for that role. Maybe even ask those high schoolers for help. Think of the positives of your role. If you can't think of any, at least try to have fun. Do your best so that you impress the director and can hopefully get a bigger role next time.
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I'm in "High School Musical," but my best friend got the part I really wanted. How do I feel happy for her?
Community Answer
The director obviously felt she was best for the role. Be happy you're getting to do the play together, and you can help each other rehearse. Put on your best acting face, and practice hard for roles you want in the future.
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How do I get the lead in a play by having raw talent and not looks?
Community Answer
A director who's a fair judge will see your talent and not care so much about the looks. Be sure to let your talent shine during your audition!
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